Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Women in the lounge!

I like women, I like to be in their company, I like their conversation, I like their outlook and I am drawn to their strength and power, their courage and their convictions, if I am at a party you'll find me with the women in the lounge  not the men in the garden!

I haven’t always treated women with the respect I now hold for them and I have learnt to work hard to change my opinions, thinking and actions towards them. I was brought up in an environment and age where woman were spoken down to, trodden all over, ridiculed and treated as second class, learning new ideas and thoughts about the female race as well as trying to understand their viewpoints  has been, for me, life changing and an ongoing process.

I truly believe in my heart woman are way more than equal to men and here is why.

A man (Not all here, just those who see woman as “Les than”) Will spend a few moments lending his time to a woman to impregnate her, he will then, no doubt, go for the “Quick cuddle” and the “I love you” before dropping off to sleep while worrying about his next big car, how is football team are doing or which suit to wear when out with the “Lads” drink on Thursday, however ,from this second on I believe something magical happens because from that moment on a woman will do something that men are incapable of doing, they will carry a life! I believe there is a reason God gave women this responsibility, can you seriously imagine a man even attempting this, a disaster!

In today’s age not only will a woman carry the baby around and all its discomforts and struggles she will still be working as well and doing everything that she did before .She will also sacrifice many things for the health of the baby, can you imagine a man giving up his wine or beer or football on Saturdays, nope!

Women die from giving birth, they go through a pain no man could ever handle and then in 50% of all cases (That’s as good as my mathematical research is going to get here) a boy is born. A woman (In most cases) Will nurture, care for, provide, love, feed, hold, cry over, worry over and protect the son until he is sent into the big wide world, now I am not saying men don’t do this, I just believe the woman does more and has a much stronger connexion than any man will ever understand, how could we, we didn’t carry the baby inside us and feel it’s every move and heart beat!

And here’s the bit that needs to change (And I believe is changing) That same man that woman gave life too  grows says “Women can’t drive, they are second class, they shouldn’t have powerful jobs, they shouldn’t earn as much, they need to stay in the kitchen, will refer to them as “Bloody women” The list goes on and on, yes the same man who’s mother could and no doubt would have died for him now suddenly believes they are “Not worthy” How narrow minded and how forgetful!

But here is the best bit, by us men changing, even just with a little step and the odd word and gesture, the circle is broken and generations to come will look back on yesterday’s ways with much horror, look how far we have come since the 1970’s and it just takes one to start the ball rolling and I believe it is today.

A woman in my mind is far superior to a man, where does a man turn to in his darkest saddest times, A man, no, too proud to do that, we men, or in my experience turn to the strong woman, the same strong woman who couldn’t hold a company together because she has breasts and may “Care” and “Feel”  too much, I have heard the saying way too many times “Men are made of stronger stuff, utter bollocks, we are just better at hiding it!

I started to read Glamour magazine a while back, I did this because of twitter and I love it on many levels, not because I like Jo Elvin,  Dawn O’Porter or Celia Walden (Although this was my starting point and a very good starting point at that) I read it because I am truly getting a better understanding of women and how they feel in today’s world, by doing this I can act and react with a wider knowledge of their feelings and emotions, I also get to laugh a lot reading it and always at the stupidity of us men!

I flirt too much and love you too much and I have not one ounce of shame saying so, why wouldn’t I, I think you truly “Run the world” you must do for it is you that holds the man together and men next time you put down a woman, belittle her, use her as a sexual docking station, undermine her, devalue her or hurt her, remember this, it is that same woman who gave you the power to do it, step out of the circle and let change begin and lets all meet in the kitchen!

Woman should be empowered, treated with respect and embraced, as a man I know I don't get it right all of the time, but the fact I'm trying is a start, Men, go out and have a read of Glamour, start following some empowered women on social media then look at the woman you may have put down today or belittled or undermined and go tell her how grateful you are and then keep on telling  her and more over, keep showing her, I promise the results for you both will be "Sensational"   


Thank you, yes you who has all power, the woman.

Written with respect to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and transgender communities.


Saturday, 25 April 2015


Roxy loves The Kardashians as much as she does Zoella (The hit youtuber) both of these “Shows” have been brought to me courtesy of Roxy.

I love Zoe because she inspires my daughter, something I take very seriously, there is so much hatred on twitter, so much anger and negativity that Roxy could buy into but Zoe, Alfie (Her other half) Are without question a breath of fresh air, Zoe talks about everything in her life including the down sides, this is inspiring and brave but it truly is what I believe a role model is and should be, by sharing her life she takes the stigma out of anxiety and puts it out in the open and removes the power of the unknown and gets others to open up and talk about it, this is incredible and very powerful, a leader not a follower.

Now let’s get on to The Kardashians, I had heard of them only because Roxy didn’t stop talking about them but refused to watch as it was just another reality show but I was missing Rox, her in one room, me in another! I made the executive Dad decision and decided to watch an episode with her and I was immediately hooked!
Who were these people and how beautiful was Kris? (I have to be honest and declare at this point she was my real reason for sticking around at first and after getting a picture at the NTA's I was a very happy Dad!) This family are outrageous, engaging, entertaining, funny and slightly off the wall and I loved it and everything about it!

The Kardashians are extremely powerful with a huge following of fans so thus they carry much weight by way of influencing others and this is why when I read the story of Bruce Jenner undergoing a sex change I found it nothing less than inspiring and extremely brave. I got panic attacks talking about my story to a few thousand, what he is doing is just incredible!

Let’s look at this, here is a man known not only all over America but also over the world who announces to a masive following that he wasn’t being true to himself. Many of his fans and followers will have no doubt laughed at this announcement or may have been shocked by it but he believes he is doing right by himself and not by others, he has ultimately taken control of his own life and is doing exactly what he pleases with it and that I find incredible. The support coming from his own family is just beautiful as well and again hugely inspiring. As I write this it reminds me of Sam Smith saying "My life changed when I truly became me" How true this is.

We so often in life just want to “Fit in” or just “Follow the crowd” or “Not cause any waves” Why? Surely we were all put on this earth to be amazing, to do amazing things, to embrace all that we are? We don’t do things or challenge ourselves, or try change because we allow our fears to block us from change! But why fear? What are we fearing? Fear of what others may think? That’s none of our business surely!

There are leaders and there are followers (A statement my sister in law would tell my beautiful niece Olivia often) Why follow when you can lead, why sit in the same old boring place? Why just exist? Why keep doing things to please everyone else? Why not take a risk, a leap, a jump or even a small step, ask yourself: What is the worst thing that could happen here? I’d suggest nothing!

Bruce Jenner will be up for much ridicule, of that I am sure, but I also believe the people who rip into him for making this choice about his life will be people who are unable to come to terms with their own lives, people who will not have the courage to make real change, to inspire others, to make a difference, these people are the followers, not the leaders ,they are the ones who cannot overcome fear so use it to poke at others. They are the weak ones not the strong empowered ones!

You don’t have to be famous or as popular as Bruce Jenner or Zoe to make change because by changing self and being true to one self you will change the most important person in the world, YOU! And I promise you if you are brave and take that small step, you will change another and so the chain begins.

Anything is possible in this life, anything at all and Bruce Jenner and Zoe are proof that taking a small step, speaking out and making change can indeed change more than one life, they can change millions of lives.

And before you think I am about to announce I am going to become “Julia” I am not, although having said that this would make me a lesbian and thus a little closer to getting a snog off Ellen or a date with Vikki Beaching who also stood up, talked and changed so many lives.

We only have this day, don’t sit in fear, step through it, embrace it and own the day, own yourself and be the person you are so capable of being, fight the fear and do it anyway, shit, you may even enjoy it!
I for one don't want to be lowered into my grave to solemn music, I want to slide and skid right into it with blasting music shouting, "Now that was one hell of a ride!"


Thanks for reading and sorry about the grammer, it’s not my strongest point!