Thursday, 26 September 2013

A letter....

I read a letter sent to the Daily Mail today and I wish to reply! 

Dear Mr Simpson. 

Melvin, Hugh, Joan and Anne are rarely on the radar of our TV's now, I think you are holding a long time resentment which you must let go of, try to let go of this and focus on something positive, may I suggest Barlow, Nigh, the centre of the bed and Willis or McCall, yes, change direction, the view may surprise you and wash a whole new landscape on which to admire! 

Vince cable and the whole shadow government is a tough one but should the "Sickness" be so great may I suggest joining the Conservative party and making a change rather than just sitting in your armchair spouting off? Without opposition we become "Unaposed" a very dangerous position for any country to be in, need evidence? Just have a look at Zimbabwe! 

Squatters and travelers, you are not sick of them, you are scared of them! Go talk to one, go walk a mile in their shoes and find something out about their lives before judging from a distance! You may find some empathy or even some understanding of why they do what they do and be who they be, shit, you may even buy a caravan and spend a Friday evening "Grabbing!"

Pop music, you're not sick of it, you're just getting old - admit it and tune your "Wireless" into Alied Jones or Chris Evans and embrace the music of yesteryear, it's ok to travel back to the "Old Days" when the volume "Dial" only turned up to "10" 
If you send me your e-mail address I will forward you "One Directions" "Little Things" I defy you not to then love "Pop Music"

British Food, are you mad! Go make a Sheposrds pie, a fish pie or a steak and kidney pie then proceed straight to the naughty corner to eat some well earned humble pie, a very "British" dish and one we don't often have the courage or conviction to do! 

Surveillance Cameras are responsible for more police convictions than police officers, think again, I mean God forbid a "Gypsy" park on the double yellow line outside your house and not be seen by the watchful eye of are law enforcement agencies! If you have nothing to fear and are law abiding, they should bother you not! To get rid of "Surveillance cameras" is to close down ITV2 - what the hell would I watch after a late night "British" dish of Chicken Tika Masala!  

As for pensions, terrorists and bishops, go anywhere in this world and you will have the same problem, sorry, this is not a "British" problem but a worldwide one - you are seriously screwed on this point as we all are, you just gotta swallow this one up!

You have no money? You spent it! Don't start bitching to me or the world because you don't have any!" Not this countries fault - it's yours! 

This country is here to be loved, but as with any relationship you, yes YOU Mr Simpson have to meet it halfway, you have to at least turn up for the date to feel its love! 

Try give, give, give rather than take take take and you sir will feel the soul, spirit and love of this great country wrap it's arms around you! 

Stop blaming everyone and everything for the country you sit in, get off your fat arse and go make a difference, go make a change, go meet it halfway, go lead not follow! 

She is ready to love you once more, you just need to show some compassion, care and most importantly committment, then and only then will you truly have victory over Anne Robinson, Vince Cabel and god forbid Yourself! 

Kindest regards. 

A proud resident of Great Britain..

Q "You Raise me up!"  


I found myself actually having a conversation today with someone at a London tube station - I know right, shocking! 

It came about on the elevator at Waterloo mainline train station that drops down into the depths of London. I treated myself before heading below ground to inhale the dark dust of London to a very refreshing Starbucks blackcurrent frozen drink thingy, it's joyous and pretty calorie low, anyway I started sucking on it like a mad man and quickly got the good old "Head Freeze" I started to place mytongue on the roof of my mouth (to warm it up and halt the impending instant migraine, something I learnt from a man from Barbados while wincing over a Rum Punch some 15 years a go!) and started (unknowingly) tutting like a pompous lanky twat, the problem arose that I was doing on the downward left side of the escalator which was blocked by the confused tourist who us unaware that "left" is for walking and "right" is for standing 

Anyway I found myself stood behind a lovely young lady who suddenly turned with a look that would rival one very pissed off Simon Cowell, suddenly and by pure fluke I realised I had been tutting behind her for at least two revelations of the giant wheel that carries thousands a day into the network if sweaty grumpy commuters! 

The look on her face quickly changed when I burst out laughing in a state of panic that she actually thought I could be so rude as to even "Tut" 

She laughed as I tried to explain the ice drink headache tutting thing - we both laughed, we struck up an enjoyable polite  3 minute conversation and both went ourseparate  ways to wherever we were going! 

Is this worthy of a blog I hear you ask?100% yes,strangers talked but more importantly laughed with not one other  motive in a place where conversation lis simply a taboo! 

This got me thinking about coffee shops and the very drink we consume hourly (Well some of us!) 

My local train station has an amazing man called Mo, who serves his many hot drinks out of what can only be described as a solar powered noddy van (Some of you may have to google that) he knows everyone's name, everyone's coffee and more importantly is always the smile at the begining of the early morning commute. 

I got chatting to Mo today and the Koran, the Muslim religion, the Hygab and the world of Allah, in a simple 10 minutes I listened and learnd so much about his beliefs and that of his religion - I listend carefully to what worries him about the myths that ultimately effect him and his family, I listend to how much he loves this country and how happy he is to abide by its laws and rules. 

You see it wasn't just a coffee it was an education - so often we travel through life making assumptions about others without ever asking or speaking about or to the very thing or person we are so ready to spout off about. 

So today I laughed with a stranger and learnt much about a religion and all I did was was visit two coffee shops - try talking, opening your mind and watch knowledge flow, for through knowledge we grow and through an ice drink and a late I laughed and learnt! 

Monday, 16 September 2013

Lets get fit together!

I'm now in to full swing with my new fitness regime and I'm loving it! 

It wasn't too long ago that the very thought of a gym filled me with fear - to be honest the closest I ever got to keeping fit was bending down to my printer to collect my monthly direct debit which, like for so many people, is an irremovable amount from that long list we stare at each month - to remove it is to be defeated from the once glorious notion that you too (And i) could have the body of even one of these two! 


I'm trying most of the classes at my Nuffield gym (I'm sure all gyms offer pretty much the same) with only a few left to try on the "Roycey does them all list" 

Zumba is most enjoyable so far and remains top of my list, Why? I'm just loving the freedom of expression and a chance to dance like a man free of caring what anyone thinks and doing it sober and in the daylight hours makes it so more fulfilling! 

When you come from a place I've come from you have little or no self esteem and you have probably spent a lifetime trying to keep everyone happy and more the point constantly worry about what everyone thinks of you - it's truly draining! 

Today (Through much work on many levels) I care not what prople think of me Why? Because I respect the person I am today and have no real idea who that old fag puffing pot bellied, tired eyes grumpy, self loathing Roycey was! 

A good example of "Not giving a toss" was a while back when I got called a "Poof" for simply mentioning the very fact that I could "Twerk" in "Zumba!" This effected me not one bit other than the terminology which was both bigoted and frankly insulting to the whole gay community! Now if we were to rewind the clock a few months and years and I would have left Zumba quicker than the irish women from Big Brother! (No, me either) Today however it just makes me work harder! 

Why I hear you cry? (Or not as the case may be!)

The gym, classes, boxing, walking on a 28 hour charity event, cycling 100k, spin, sit-ups, crunches, the plank, it has built up an inner strength and belief and a amazing things I never knew existed grew from within; "Self Worth" "Self respect" and the most life changing "Pride"

I dance in a room filled with 15 passionate ladies dancing like we were in the middle of a packed Cuban night club, poof? Whatever! 

The one slight problem I will face should I ever dance the Zumba dance outside the safety of my dance class is I am learning with and from women, so I am learning the "Female" moves and not the "Butch" male ones - do I care - nah, I'll just throw in a few grunts to cover my obvious campness! 

When you come from a place of little or no self esteem it's difficult to see any way of finding anything to make you happy, (Trust me i tried everything) after a while you slip down into a very dark place, most doctors give this the title of depression and rightly so, it's not a pretty place but I have a solution which may go a little way to throwing you a ray of hope from the day to day grind and loneliness of life! 

I found out something profound in my life recently, if your hurting inside the only way to fix it is from the inside out, NOT the outside in, the gym is the perfect solution should you feel the same way! Start slowly and watch your confidence grow! Watch yourself start to believe in yourself, watch yourself become proud of your body, watch your lifestyle change and watch your mind body and soul take a new path! 

I write this blog not for me, im doing it and feeling the results so don't need telling, I'm writing this in the hope just one person may go for a walk, try a run, do a sit up or honestly commit to a simple one month of gym membership! I have  found a very small way of filling my mind and soul with positivity that I searched for and craved for, for so so long - I've got "Self esteem!" And I LOVE IT! 

I honestly wish I could film myself giving it all I have for an hour in Zumba and you would see the biggest smile EVER! I get it wrong, I throw in a few of my own steps, I sweat, I swear but most of all my chest grows and I feel amazing as I depart and walk (Head held high) onto the damp streets of Croydon! More than this I've  made some friends,I talked to someone rather than an e-mail, a tweet or a Facebook message,  I have a great laugh and more importantly I did something positive just for me!  Not for one other person, yep, something for YOU! 

I truly can't find any negatives! 

Yoga is now staring at me to try it, the problem is I can get bored very quickly, but try it I will, along with a few other classes on offer! So much on offer and so many challenges to try how much more exciting than staring at twitter getting all het up nobody is tweeting you or waiting for an e mail from someone who doesn't really give a toss about you! 

Boxing is my new found love and it is bloody brilliant (I go to Rose Hill Boxing club and I get bandages on my hands and everything!) and truly uplifting, I have the most amazing trainer, Ian, and not only does he push me, I now have the confidence to push myself - I've even named myself the "Wallington Whirlwind" which could not be further from the truth! Imagine the move you make when walking into a spiders web and you kinda get the idea of my combinations! Having said that I found some things I have never seen before - muscle! Give me a mirror and I'm kissing the guns - vanity? No! Pride! (Ok, maybe just a tad of vanity!)

For those who knew me before and have been in my company they will happily tell you that prolonged exercise, determination, focus and hard graft for goals and aspirations to be met didn't appear too high on the "old Royce's" list - today, just below my family and equal to my career, they sit nicely in second spot - a bit like Man U will do behind Liverpool come May next year! (That's for you Ian & Tim, get ready Mr Ramsay, you're cooking!) 

If you're feeling low, lack confidence, think your worthless, have no "get up and go", if you have that "Cant be bothered attitude" simply take a step into the world of a gym and I categorically promise you this - you will have a new purpose, new energy, new goals but importantly you will know a new you, full of what it takes to meet this world head on. But and it's a huge but, it's going to take effort, it's going to hurt, it's going to take done commitment but you will feel a inner achievement that YOU did just for YOU! 

I won't blab on about my weight loss, muscle gain, healthier lifestyle, the changes I've made, I don't need to, get into exercise and they will naturally come for you too. 

Today I walked into The London Studios and a very lovely Irishman who execs and makes fantastic TV for ITV (I won't mention his name) said to me "You look bloody fantastic Roycey (He actually said it twice) those two comments made every single trip, bead of sweat, dance move and sit up worth while, that's called "Pride" and it felt brilliant! 

My life has changed and the gym and exercise has been an integral part of the new Roycey! Why not come and join me on the journey? lets dance like nobody cares, run like our life depended on it, spin like Bradley, swim like there was a bar at the end of the pool and most importantly change, from the inside! 

Try it - it works, honestly it does. 

Thanks for reading.