Sunday, 21 August 2011

I love donkeys!

I got up early this morning as I needed to move the car from a "restricted" zone. That in itself is enough to drive a man to sobriety! It's early, it's a Sunday and this really is the last thing I need.
So out I popped in my dressing gown and moved my car the 100yds to an "unrestricted" zone. Typically my neighbour was out, so we had a nice chat about gardens, weather and the building work at number 46! On returning to the house I realized I was wearing my wife's dressing gown - that is not so much of a disaster, but I am 6'5" she is 5'5" and this is a dressing gown I bought her with "Princess" written in big bold pink letters on the back. This was without doubt an "epic" fail!

I am now back from my amazing holiday - 6 days in a stunning villa in the Spanish mountain village of Mijas with my family. Sadly for my wife, daughter, niece, cousins and "Nanny" the villa had a wireless internet connection. However, I did restrain from twitter, a bit. I didn't want to get my Ipad wet in the pool!

It is obvious that the Spanish restaurants are also struggling in the recession, so much so that they are going all out to bring the customers in - but Christmas lunch in the 90 degree heat of August? Please!

Thank god for wireless. Lying by the pool sipping a lovely ice cold, ice filled Fanta Lemon the e-mail ping sounded on my best friend. Staring at me was the name "Gary Barlow". He invited me to go to Arsenal to watch our beloved Liverpool FC play. I get excited about a lot of things but this was catatonic excitement of an epic proportion - I don't think I have ever replied to an e-mail so quickly!
I then spent the next 3 days talking about nothing else, trust me Mrs Roycey was mighty pissed off and at one point suggested I went on holiday with gary next year....... A thought!

I flew back from Spain courtesy of Easy Jet and the quite brilliant "Speedy Boarding Plus".  Being first on the plane and getting a great seat is worth every penny of the £40! I was settled for a fantastic leg stretched flight. After about 40 minutes I noticed a heavily pregnant lady entering the plane with a bag that was way too big for the over head compartment and  everyone around me noticed her as well. As she was having a small row with her partner about duty free, I noticed her heavily pregnant state and I took the bull by the horn and asked, "Would you and your bump like my seat?" pointing at the obvious imminent arrival of her child. I could feel the eyes around me, the fellow passengers thinking "what an amazing bloke". I turned and gave my now adoring public a little smile with a glint in my eye which said "I know, I'm a good bloke!". Then came her loud Essex reply "I'm not fucking pregnant you cheeky twat"!  I have never in my life wanted to be somewhere else so quickly. I could feel the whole plane staring right through me. My reply came so quickly "Oh, sorry, you look like you are". Oh Jesus, this was getting worse by the minute. I sat down quickly and she toddled off down the aisle. Her partner looked at me, smiled and said "Can you imagine anyone wanting to get her pregnant?" I have every faith and belief that they will pop up on Jeremy Kyle in the not too distant future. I have never got off a plane so quickly on arrival at Gatwick. In future I need to keep my mouth shut and my speedy boarding to myself!

I was whisked straight off to The X Factor boot camp at Wembley Arena - the very same venue that will be used for this years X Factor final. It is going to be nothing less than the biggest live TV extravaganza witnessed. I am so excited about being part of it!

Sporting a tan that was one shade off orange I arrived at Wembley.  Tulisa had new teeth, Gary was looking as fit as ever, Kelly had a new album out, Louis was earning commission from a £1 million pound deal from Jedwood in the CBB house. Dermot was looking very relaxed and as fit a s a fiddle, Olly was ready for his new single to come out, Caroline was in a cheeky mood and looking as beautiful as ever and all I could offer by way of excitement was a new found love for a donkey I met in Spain. My spirits were soon lifted by an amazing fan-base building around me: welcome to the hundreds of "Team Roycey" friends who are joining me on my journey in show business!

Arriving at the Emirates stadium to watch Arsenal take on Liverpool as a guest of GB was like being 14 again. I was like an excitable child! So many things happened in the day, so many highlights: eating fantastic food; meeting the great chef Raymond Blanc; sitting with the directors of Liverpool and Arsenal; celebrating 2 goals (quietly) with Gary; standing having a chat with King Kenny; walking down the tunnel. But what topped the day for me was when a waiter looked at Gary, pushed past him and looked me straight in the eye with great excitement and said "Oh my god, you"re the guy off X Factor" You couldn't write it!

X Factor aired for the first time under the banner of "The Next Generation" and it was nothing less than an awesome success. It truly was one of the best season openers I have ever watched and I am really excited about this season - which I guarantee will be an enormous success!

Hundreds of you are asking "will the show miss Simon?". On screen maybe, but do not think for one minute that Simon has forgotten about the UK XF. He is, I can assure you, still the executive producer and a very hands on one at that. Never let us forget, this is and will remain his baby, wherever he is in the world!

I received 1000's of tweets asking "Why are you not on the show?", "Get on The Xtra Factor" and the best one - "I've just seen your bald patch!"
Guys my time will come, I have every faith. It's just a matter of it being the right thing. I don't want to and have no interest in being a celebrity for the sake of being a celebrity, we have way too many of them, (CBB). If it's going to happen then I want it to be for my talent - I have waited 22 years, a little longer is not going to kill me! I am ready for it in all areas of my life and when it comes I intend to grab it with both hands and take it to a level only I know is possible. I have spent years watching the very best in the business, I am armed and ready, it simply takes someone to take a small leap of faith, for which I promise they will not regret!

To the 16,208 followers on twitter, I promise I will one day enter your lounge, it just may be on a channel that could take you a while to find!

Busy week this week which I will, as ever, tell you all about!


Thursday, 11 August 2011

And Lunge!

When our country turns into a war zone, when our politicians have to fly back from a holiday, when riot police are seen engaging in running battles on the streets of our fine cities there really is only one thing you can do - go get a spray tan!

My wife announced that she was off for her pre-holiday spray tan. Not one to be left out I decided this should also be open to the man of the house - so an appointment was duly made for some "Man Tan!"

The salon called and told me I should "de-scale" prior to my visit. Do what? First stop was John Lewis where I purchased some soap with stones in and "de- scaled ". Jesus this hurts. I felt like I was being pebble dashed.

Preparing for my spray tan was pretty easy. A full moisturise, which sent my wife into a melt down as I used her "special" moisturiser to carry out this task - how I was I suppose to know I had just covered my whole body in "Clinique tighter Eye"? It felt like my whole body was shrinking!

Arrival at the salon and I was ready to be "browned" by a bloody gun! I seriously thought this was to be applied by hand!

I was given what can only be described as a white paper tissue to cover my man bits - now, because they do not have many men, they were female knickers. It took me 20 minutes to make sure everything was tucked in nicely!

I stood ready to take it like a man and off we went. It is truly the most bizarre feeling in the world and to be honest rather pleasant. I was enjoying the chilled spray hitting my naked skin when words of dread filled my ears "could you lunge?" "What?" "Put your left arm in the air, your right leg forward and lunge". This was a disaster. The "female tissue" was not built for lunging! So I just poked my leg out a tad and she worked around me - she was way more embarrassed than me!

On completion I looked in the mirror - I was shocked! I truly looked like I had just arrived back from a 4 month holiday in Thailand. I was for the very first time browner than Dale Winton!

Coming home I was not allowed to touch anything. Going to bed I lay myself down with precision so as to not smudge or streak and lay staring in the air like a plank!

I so wanted to do a before and after picture but I have a horrible feeling those pictures would come back and haunt me one day!

A lot of effort but, to be honest, it is quiet a nice look and I have been asked a couple of times "Where have you been on holiday?" . My reply - " Horsham!"

I have no words for the riots. I think it has all been said but a huge respect to our emergency services with a picture that sums up the dedication and bravery of them all:

Summer holidays brought my daughter's first experience with a horse! Yes riding camp or, as I referred to it, "spending" camp! Fully fitted and looking like something from the Olympic dressage team we arrived at the most beautiful stables for a week long riding course. We checked in and she then met her horse for the first time and what a blast "Fudge" was going to be!

I know what you are thinking,  "Jeremy Kyle show"?

My wife went to work today and I was "left in charge" of my daughter's visit to the hairdressers. This comes with huge responsibility and something I did not take lightly especially when my daughter announced with her long hair blowing in the August wind "Dad I am going to get my hair cut short, lets surprise mum". It may be worth mentioning at this point that my instructions were very clear from my wife with the length of the "cut" and the "style" required. "Just a trim and a tidy up". I can handle this, I mean she is my daughter, she has a mind and it is after all her hair, right?

So we went from this:
To this:

Really what's the big deal?

I opened my local weekly paper today and was shocked by the story of "Flipper" the rabbit.

Flipper was found in a hedge with two broken legs, stained, battered, weak and left for dead by some horrible human being who I cannot even begin to explain how much I would like to meet in a dark alley!
Flipper was rescued after a passer by heard it crying and took it to the local animal centre where every effort is being taken to save Flipper's life and hopefully, following surgery, find a new loving home. Fancy adding him to your family or donating towards his surgery? 02086698877 I sacrificed a treat for me to help Flipper, please do the same.

I will leave you with the thought that our country is a year away from holding the Olympic games - we have never been so ready!

Note: Married man looking for one bedroom flat following hair disaster!

Friday, 5 August 2011

Lets spill some beans!

I was asked a question on twitter this week: Who are the nicest stars you have worked with? Enough crap is written about today's celebrities so why not dedicate this weeks' blog to singing some praises!

Lovely Louis - Stuck in the pouring rain of Glasgow, stood by the stage door and waiting for a Glaswegian cab that was so  going to take forever, Louis left to the flash of the paps cameras and the filming of the X factor exit, he sped off and the car stopped and reversed, Louis's window came down and he told me to jump in. Being noticed can sometimes be the nicest thing ever. He really is  lovely as well as making me howl with laughter on so many occasions!

Jonathan Ross. I have done many warm ups for JR but my best memory of him was when I was appearing on the Big Big Talent show. It was for me a disaster. I got slated by Gary Bushell and my whole night descended into a complete car crash. In the green room after the show Jonathan took the time to come over, give me massive encouragement, huge support and put a smile back on the face of a seriously disappointed comedian. I will be forever grateful not only to him but for the lessons learnt from that particular show!

Michael Buble: Seriously one of the nicest most humble men I have ever had the privilege to work with. He finished his "Evening With" show by staying behind and meeting every single one of the audience. Also, at The X Factor, he went outside in the pouring rain and met all the crowd queuing to get inside, with NO TV cameras or press - he just did because he could! He thanked me personally and took time to recall some of the jokes I had told at the X Factor. Just goes to show - you never know who might be listening!

Amanda Holden: Not only is Amanda extremely funny she is also a sweetheart who gets so excited sometimes she actually squeals! Amanda would do anything for you, (well nearly anything) and I class her as a true friend as well as being seriously talented.

Prince Harry: The Prince came to see the X Factor and I found myself stood outside Simon's dressing room having a conversation with him. I really did however want the ground to eat me up. He said "You are a very funny bloke - I loved the bits where you ripped into the judges". I replied like a cockney twat "Thanks mate!" He laughed at my obvious embarrassment as did his security team. He really was a down to earth nice guy who made you feel very at ease.

Shane Richie: I spent a whole 2 years touring with Shane and a Christmas eve with his family, I swear I have never laughed and cried so much in all my life!

Robbie Williams: I don't know RW at all really but anytime I have worked on a show he has been on he has always come over and said hello and always remembers my name. True gent, very funny bloke and yes, I am a huge fan!

Piers Morgan: Piers is the straightest guy I have ever met. There is no side to Piers and he doesn't mince his words. I remember taking the mick out of Simon's make up artiste Julia, to which Julia got the hump  (understandably - I can sometimes be relentless!). She had a go at me and the tension was to say the least "high". On arriving back in the Britain's Got Talent green room, with everyone in it, Julia and I keep our distance. Piers piped up in front of everyone "So Julia, are you having drinks with Roycey tonight?". Piers is fascinating and I love being in his company. He is  also married to one of the most beautiful women I have ever met.

Celine Dion: I was doing the warm up for her "Night With" at ITV. Celine had gone off for a costume change and I was in the middle of a routine when we running late and the director and producers were really pushing for time. Celine walked on ready for her next number. The floor manager waved me off so i stoped in the middle of the gag. The crowd moaned and Celine announced, "No honey finish it, it's funny". A cry from a member of the team in the floor manager's ear went something like this: "Get that lanky prick off the stage" (or words to that effect). I tried to walk off but Celine insisted I carry on. She was charming, beautiful but above all she took notice of me, thanked me and treated me with respect. I was touched and did not stop talking about it for weeks!

Ant and Dec: I think I have learned more from watching the "boys" work than any other artistes. They define the word "professional" and it really is a masterclass watching them both in front of and off camera. They are also probably the two most "ordinary" celebrities I have worked with. They are, without doubt, the two biggest stars in the country today. But being in their company you really would not think so - no sides, no ego, no game, it is exactly what is written on the tin! Total respect and admiration for not only great presenters but two brilliantly funny comedians.

Robin Williams: I was working at the Wimbledon Theatre for a comedy evening to celebrate Prince Charles' birthday. It was a who's who of comedy. I was stood in the wings, extremely nervous. I had a pat on the shoulder and as I turned I nearly fell over! Robin and I had a 15 minute chat - he gave me some tips, we talked about comedy and he is one of the only people who left me seriously star-struck!

Davina McCall: I did my first ever warm up for Davina. I had done a lot of years as a stand up comic so was used to pressure but I don't think I have ever been so nervous in all my life! She put me at ease straight away and shone like the star she is!

Russel Brand: I did the warm ups for Russell on a couple of his shows. It has to be the hardest warm up I have ever done. Why? Well when you're warming up for one of the funniest guys around the audience really have no interest in you. I worked my arse off! I was about three quarters of the way through my bit and Russell just wondered on - no big intro, no huge build up, no big play on - he just wanders on and delivers some of the funniest comedy I have ever witnessed. After the gig, as I was walking off, he called me back and thanked me. He was simply lovely. I am not one bit surprised he is enjoying Hollywood stardom. He deserves it all - and more!

Eamonn Holmes: Eamon is fantastic and also very funny. Whenever we are together we have a good gossip and put the world to rights! God love him! 

Dermot O'Leary - Dermot and I were running for a train home from Manchester following the Manchester auditions. When we got to the train I was, of course, travelling normal class and Dermot First class but he insisted sitting with me in second class - even though the whole carriage had their cameras out. I begged him to go to the peace and quiet of the first class compartment but he would hear nothing of it. Great bloke!

Sir Elton John: This man changed my life around forever and didn't even know a thing about it!

Sharon Osbourne: I love Mrs O - not only does she really make me laugh but I think she is extremely sexy and very beautiful. She is also my daughters' favorite star (along with Simon!). Sharon is the most generous celebrity I have ever seen at a studio. At the end of the X Factor, personalised gifts were given to every member of the team - and I mean EVERY member of the team. She really doesn't miss a person or forget what everybody does to make the show. She is warm, considerate, funny and I love it when she goes into one! True passion, true worldwide star! Come home soon Mrs O - I need a hug!

Phillip Schofield: The Boss and the master!  A gentleman and one of the best TV stars I have ever watched work. When Phillip steps in front of the camera you really have to stand back and admire his poise, quick thinking and natural god-given talent. He is a pleasure to work with and makes you feel very at ease.

HRH Prince Charles: Following my warm up at the Royal Variety Performance I went to go home when a message was sent down from the Royal Box that his Royal Highness wished to meet me. I was blown away and ushered into the "Line Up" next to the biggest stars this country has to offer. The look on a certain comics' face was simply priceless! HRH spent a good five minutes chatting to me and asked the head of the BBC if my spot could be televised. He said "Of course. We will see what we can do" . It was never televised, which is cool, as after all I was simply warming up. I was to be again blown away. A letter arrived from HRH personally written with some truly amazing words. Today I still look at this letter with a sense of pride and achievement and now refer to Prince Charles, to anyone who will listen, as my "mate"!

Stephen Mulhern: Stephen is absolutely charming. I remember once at BGT in Birmingham I had left my daughter for a few minutes with my wife in the reception area while I went to get them a pass. When I returned Stephen had taken my daughter to the pick and mix and filled a bag of sweets for her that would have given her a sugar buzz for the remaining year! It is true to say everyone loves Stephen - including me.

Paul O'Grady: I love working with Paul, not only because you feel like you are in the presence of TV royalty, but because he seriously makes me laugh. In any given ad break he can go into a "Paul" rant which if you have witnessed one you will know how funny it is. I would love to see Paul go and do a live stand up tour. It would be a show not to be missed. I was once asked to walk Buster around the ITV car park and I have never in my life guarded something so closely in all my life! It was like carrying the crown jewels!

JLS: I love JLS! They learnt all their dance moves off me and one day, if they work hard enough, they too will have a body like mine! Great bunch of guys who I have no doubt will be around for a very long time.

Lionel Richie: When I was warming up for a special with Lionel the floor manager, Nick, asked me to sit on a stool by the piano, just for lighting, as this is where Lionel would sing to a lucky member of the audience. I perched myself on the stool and Nick sat at the piano pretending to sing "Hello". Suddenly Lionel walked in - Nick got up and I sat glued to the stool not knowing what to do. Lionel sat at the piano and sang "Hello" directly to me, looking at me straight in the eye! The song and rehearsal then disintegrated into chaos as I agreed to every word he sang by nodding my head and winking at him. He laughed along and the whole rehearsal took about 15 minutes - it was truly a great moment!

Gino D'Acampo  - Italian, good looking, talented cook, great dad, fabulous husband and seriously charming - god he cannot be real - but believe me, he is! (I want a "Gino" teddy bear for Xmas!)

Ian Collins - Ian presents Talk Sport's night time show. Ian helped me, guided me and became a true friend. He gave of himself when he did not need to and had a huge impact on my professional career. I will always be very humbled by his selfless encouragement and actions.

Gary Barlow: I only met Gary for the first time this year on XF and I was extremely nervous about meeting him. I walked into the green room in Glasgow and walked over, introduced myself and within two minutes we were laughing. We share the same sense of humour, both support the same football team and work out at the same gym - well two out of three isn't bad! 

Simon - No need for a surname here! Truly my favorite. So many like to put him down or look for a side but I can honestly, with my hand on heart, say he wins the "nicest celebrity I have ever worked with" hands down! Simon is extremely loyal, passionate about anything he puts his mind too and the hardest working man I have ever met. When you work with Simon you always want to impress him and go to any length to make your part the very best it can be. He has an aura around him that is quite magnificent as well as hugely inspiring. I  can never ever remember a time hearing Simon not saying "thank you". He is the politest man I have ever had the pleasure of working with - a true gentleman and generous above and beyond anything I have ever witnessed in my life. If you knew Simon, like I knew Simon, you too would be bowled over by this quite brilliant man. Simon is one of those rare stars who can bring a room to a standstill simply by arriving! A recent survey of kids asked who is the most famous person in the world.  Simon came first, God came second - need I say more!

There really are so many others I could mention but the ones above are the ones that have stood out! I am sure I may have forgotten some, if I have, sorry!

Monday, 1 August 2011

Uncle Dennis got excited!

Summer is here and that called for a trip to the races - an evening fit for Kings and Queens, where ladies dress to impress, gentleman wear their best suits, champagne is drunk by the magnum, strawberries and cream are scoffed by the ton and the great British hierarchy meet and celebrate this great tradition........!

Arriving at Sandown my alarm bells started to ring when I saw a family of 4 having a picnic in the car park. Now, at Ascot that is the norm, however at Sandown it's a bit of gravel with exhaust fumes blowing in your direction every 4 seconds!

Taking kids to the racing is also a great idea. They had such a fantastic time and could not take their eyes of the action!

My wife and I go through a morning and evening routine in the bedroom, this is called "bed making!"

We wake up and spend 10 minutes making the bed, fluffing up pillows, folding the duvet, putting on a throw and then come the bloody cushions, we arrange them, place them, rearrange them and stand back and look at them. We then leave the bedroom for a whole day, returning at night to throw all the cushions on the floor and sleep - then next morning the same routine takes place!

NOBODY see's the bloody cushions, why oh why do we need cushions? It's nothing less than a waste of time!

I decided to instill some culture into my child on Friday. No wait - that's not exactly true. My wife thought both my child and I needed educating and suggested (strongly) that a trip to the  "Tate Modern" was in order - so off to London town we went.

On arrival at the Tate your breath is taken away by the sheer enormity of the entrance. Brick walls and a huge pathway make you feel truly insignificant and we made our way to the main entrance. I purchased a map for £1 and off we went.

Sorry, I just do not get it. And neither did my 8 year old. Hundreds of people staring at pictures contemplating the thought process and passion behind basically a 4 year old "messy time".

Someone please tell me - is this art?

No! This is a canvas painted red, it is not art!

This one must have taken hours.......

I decided to take a picture of what I thought was the best piece in the gallery. My daughter and I got the real giggles when a Japanese tourist and a very excitable American (sporting the American tourist look of: T-Shirt tucked into Chino shorts with white socks pulled up as far as they can go and trainers) who could not stop gasping at the brilliance of such a "Piece" entitled "Fire Exit"

Trust me, the people who visit such a gallery are without doubt taken by the pure brilliance, excitement, talent and flair of all on display!

Next to my local pub (which I never go to) is a hand car wash. The lads who drink in this establishment are the core of British society with a very mean sense of humour! The other day while taking my car through the hand car wash they decided to play a prank which was hysterical. One of the lads from the pub got his car, placed his mate in the boot, tied him up, put black thick tape across his mouth and closed the boot. He then drove his car through the wash and left it with the "Inside" cleaning team while he nipped back to the viewing point of the pub.
I watched from a distance and really laughed at 4 Polish lads go drip white when they opened the boot. The funniest thing about the whole of this prank is the "Inside" clean team merely shut the boot again and carried on cleaning the inside of the car, took the tenner off the bloke and let him drive away! Oh how I wish they had called the police and I had a video camera on me!

Working on the country's biggest shows such as The X Factor and Britain's Got Talent has no downside. I am privileged and honoured to be part of such an institution and am grateful on a daily basis for the opportunities I have been given - or as Steve Brookstien tweeted to me this week "Roycey you are just a show monkey".

The only slight problem with being part of these shows is that when you go anywhere, especially to a night when there is a singer singing, everyone thinks you can enhance their career and you are Simon Cowell. I am simply the warm up guy. I am not able in any way, shape or form help any singer with their battle for stardom and celebrity.

I was this week invited to a local cricket club to let the dog have a run, shit on the wicket, (I am sure this will send Piers into meltdown) and meet up with family. It was not mentioned by ANY of the family however that it was also "cabaret afternoon". I was reliably informed before departure that my Uncle Dennis spent most of the previous week telling anyone who would listen  "my nephew from the X Factor is coming". This sent the club, the owner, the regulars and most importantly the "Frank Sinatra tribute act" into meltdown - so much so that "Frank" got so excited at this opportunity to sing in front of "the X Factor bloke" that he put his wife into his slot as an "extra bonus" singing "A tribute to Doris Day!"

On arrival a front row table had been reserved with my name on it:

Oh god, I just wanted to give the dog a run, catch up with family and go home, now I am a bloody V.I.P. I tried explaining that I am merely the warm up bloke, but it seemed my Uncle Dennis got a little carried away with my job description in his excitement and built up my part just a tad!

I was offered free drinks and a waitress - I was also reliably informed that never in the 125 year history of this club had this been offered to anyone, apart from  Matt Lecon, who was the club president for 23 years. His special chair had also been brought out for me to sit in.

Sweet Jesus! This was quickly turning into a complete disaster. I gracefully declined the chair, table, front row seats, waitress and drinks and offered my table to "Dorothy" who had brought along with her a "Simon Cowell" squeaky dog bone for signing - which she and the other club members found hilarious. I was mortified! Kids had JLS T-shirts on, One Direction pictures, Leona albums, Alexandra posters and the one that made me howl with laughter (internally) a picture of Simon's driver taken outside of the X Factor studio!

Cabaret started with "Frank" coming on from an intro that went something like this"

"Ladies and Gentleman, honoured guests (audience clap loudly and look towards me), welcome to an afternoon of Frank Sinatra with a very special guest Doris Day. Please welcome live from Las Vegas (his Scoda with trailer for the PA was parked outside) the world famous super star that is Frank Sinatra." Oh Jesus mother of god, this guy actually thinks he is Frank!

I swear I thought I was the only bloke in the club as "Frank" then proceeded to sing every bloody song to me. As if this wasn't bad enough, the banter between songs was painful.

"I bet Simon would love to be here now". "Ladies and gentleman, do you think I should audition for Britain's Got Talent?" This was met with huge cheers! This was slowly turning into nothing less than car crash and I was hugely embarrassed!

The best however was yet to come. The arrival of the "Special Guest" then on walked "Doris Day".

Doris took to the stage like a seasoned pro and sang her heart out while walking among the crowd singing to them personally! The crowd at one point even started to dance and had made a real effort in getting dressed up for this amazing event:

I love black socks and trainers, such a look!

The singers, to be honest, were good value and I respect any artiste who gets up and entertains. It is after all a gift to entertain  - it doesn't mean you have to be a "superstar" to achieve this goal, however, woe betide me should I ever forget the power of the shows I work on and the effect they have on peoples' lives or indeed how lucky and blessed I am to be part of them. These shows are watched by over 15 million people weekly, which is 14 million more than Piers Morgan has followers on twitter and 14,999,300 more people than bought Steve Brookstien's last record!

Have a fantastic week, I know this "Show Monkey" will!