Tuesday, 3 June 2014

My last blog....

What an amazing couple of weeks, I’ve had some time on a football field with One Direction and of course Piers Morgan, Been in front of camera three times with my friends at Sky News, The Paul O’Grady show and of course the live semi – Finals of Britain’s Got Talent and this was topped off beautifully with a piece in The Sun newspaper TV magazine under the heading of “The Talent behind the talent”
I didn’t get much time in my bed nor with my family, but I just loved being busy and more the point loved being in front of camera. When you have waited so long for the break even the little time in make-up means the reality of a lifelong dream, a lifetime of commitment, passion and drive is, if even slowly, possibly materialising! However I have been round a while to know that this wonderful, colourful, unpredictable world of show business is anything but a certainty, it is as unpredictable and sometimes as devastating as the weather we moan about on an hourly basis, but it can also bring much sunshine and joy, you just never know when which I guess is why I can never give up again!

I am not writing this blog to tell you what a wonderful week I have had nor to blow smoke up my own arse, really, follow me on twitter and that would do the job! I write today as I have been trying to do over the past months to simply carry a message through my experiences, emotions, feelings and life lessons.

The truth in life is you are powerless over people, places and things, what you are not powerless over is you! It is no secret I have a lifelong dream and goal to be in front of camera, however I am powerless as to whether that will ever happen, the joy for me today is that I have spent a while working hard to be ready for such a moment rather than a huge amount of energy trying to make the moment and it has been life changing. I have not by one stretch of the imagination given up on my dreams but I have stopped worrying so much about the end goal and have poured much energy into the journey to such a place rather than the place itself.

I did this by having a long hard look at myself and all areas of my life and worked hard to put them how I want them to be, not what everyone else thinks I should be. I have worked hard at being who I want to be, I ask myself the question: If you met you, would you like you? Now I get this wrong, I am human, but I try to make sure it’s a question I ask a lot and then take steps to fix it where it doesn’t sit well! I have also learnt to listen and take advice, the biggest lesson I have learnt is you don’t HAVE to take action on the advice given, that’s a wonderful thing in life called “Choice!” But listen I do and think hard about others thoughts, after all they were kind enough to take the time to share them, to not listen is to be blinkered to others experience.

Dreams, goals and aspirations will not just fall in your lap, that is the stuff of Hollywood, but the sparkly lights and glitter may come if you prepare yourself properly. You will never win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket and you will never pass the exam if you don’t prepare properly, yes some will get lucky, but when it comes to proving your worth, you will be flawed! Life is a long journey, the great joy for me today is I am really enjoying the journey and taking it in rather than hating it for it not being where and what I want it to be, I have admitted powerlessness and try my best to make the most of every day, I try to learn from it not resent it, embrace it not push it away and laugh at it when the time is right. Some people only have one day, I ask, if this were my last day would I be happy with it?

Work for some is not everything, show business for me is my life and is only superseded by my family, they are my constants and my life, but it’s about priorities. I threw a ball in the garden with my Roxy yesterday and got a greater buzz than any audience could ever possibly give me. Today I see that, for so long I did not!

Grab the day, work hard for what is important to you, do the right thing, give freely of self and think of others before yourself and it is my experience the rest of your world will all fall into place but only if you do it for no gain for yourself, it’s the kind of rule! Be kind to yourself, look after yourself and improve yourself, I try to and it feels good, I trued the opposite, honestly, trust me the end of the game is a dark lonely place!

If life doesn’t really work out the way you planned it, maybe it’s time to take a small change of direction Be brave, step out of your comfort zone and try something new, be spontaneous and just go with it, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else, nothing can go wrong, and if it does go tits up, laugh at yourself, get up, brush yourself off and start all over again and look at yourself in the mirror and say “Fuck it, at least I had a go!”

Yes I want more time in makeup, yes I want more time in front of camera, yes I want to walk the red carpet, I want my dream, I have worked a whole lifetime for it. Sometimes in life though, you got to go do it yourself, even only for you, your satisfaction and your spirit.

This is my last blog, time now to try some new areas of technology and go buy a camera

It’s time for “The talent behind the talent” to give every bit of energy and effort to be “The talent stood next to the talent” and if it doesn’t work, I’ll warm them up the best I can and be very proud of it and then go home, stand in front of that bloody mirror I keep banging on about and say “Fuck it, I had a go!”

Thank you so much for reading my words and sharing in my experiences and thoughts over the past years. Writing has been my therapy, my energy and my fun. Who knows, I may return to it one day, but for now, I’ll take a bow and exit stage right to a new box of modern technology!
Game of catch in the garden anyone? 



Thursday, 22 May 2014

New Things..

Finding new things are just so exciting, for example this week I found out how to connect my "Spotify" via my Bluetooth to my car speakers, now to the modern hip reader this may sound like a simple task, but for me it is an epic occasion, sadly though I now know I am getting old and technology flies past my years, I am happy to own that and just get on with it!

A friend then pointed out another amazing new find, the little arrow by the fuel gauge in a car is in fact pointing at the side your fuel flap is, for years I thought this was an arrow for simple folk like myself to tell me the car was once again left empty by the wife, utter genius, I also found some money in my jeans pocket this week, finding new stuff is just great and makes me really happy!

So it's election day and I always feel privileged to have a vote in a democratic society, I always go with my wife and I always vote with pride and take the responsibility of voting very very seriously!

I used to live in a flat in central London and new neighbours arrived, they were asylum seekers from Afghanistan, (I later found this out) a man a wife and his two children, the family moved into a newly refurbished flat with all the mod cons, after a few days of moving in I noticed the man of the house lighting a fire outside for his wife to cook the family meal, was I shocked, yes, did I go up in arms about this happening in a nice street in a nice area of London, yes, but here is the but, my wife and I discussed it, and I decided to let the man know about the cooker in his flat and to start up a conversation. I never saw the fire in the front porch area again, but we had started a conversation and thus a relationship. I used to watch him every morning go out on a bicycle to collected junk to sell at a car boot sale, he would leave at the crack of dawn and return late at night his second hand wobbly bike full with anything he could sell to feed his family, I was also very proud of my front garden, (I may have mentioned in a previous blog I won a local front garden completion, probably the only award I have ever won and one I am very proud of and would tell anyone regardless of them glazing over with boredom at my utter delight) Any way one weekend I noticed his family in his overgrown front garden with kitchen spoons weeding and making good their garden, he said in broken English he was "Embarrassed at his garden making the street look bad" This man was fitting in as much as I was trying to understand him.

At Christmas and although they were Muslim, he brought round a Christmas card and when we moved he came out with his family and was visibly upset, he shook my hand tight and thanked me and my family for our kindness and he said and I quote "You are like family to us and we are so sad you now leave" I honestly felt a lump in my throat.

This family were different but actually the same as most of this country, they were kind, hard working lovely people, they were simply trying to do the best for their family and we as a nation gave them some hope and an opportunity and I learnt something new and it was as exciting as the arrow on the petrol gauge and the music that now pumps through my car speakers!

I believe this country is seriously pissed off about immigration, but I want a party open to inclusion not exclusion, I want a party brave enough to stand up and put up some boundaries not borders and walls and high fences, I certainly do not ever want a party prepared to stand in front of any camera possible and slap the many amazing cultures who live in and put into this country in the face. Its simply wrong, unacceptable and a sad day for a "United" Kingdom. We should actually feel proud that so many want to be part of our life here, not ashamed of it, a great cake is made up of many different ingredients, if it was made with the same old stuff it would be bland, tasteless and nobody would want to try it or be part of the making of it!

Try something new, try talking, listening and understanding, I did and I learnt just because someone comes from a place different to I and speaks different to I acts differently to I and does things differently to I does not EVER make them less than I.

That is the party political broadcast on behalf of the "Roycey" party to about 200 hundred of you, really, I need to get back to work or bake a cake full of so many ingredients we all get a real buzz out of it!

Thanks for reading


Thursday, 15 May 2014

"I Can!"

“I Can’t” is only one letter off “I Can!” and over the last seven days I proved that point and not to anyone else other than myself.

To make an impromptu “I Can” and then to grab a bike, a ruck sack and a map and cycle from Edinburgh to London is, reading it now and looking back, somewhat insane and slightly radical but it was not unachievable and defiantly not out of the realms of possibility and it is was, without question, one of the greatest things I have ever done in my life.

I learnt so much about myself, I learnt that when someone puts their mind to something anything, really anything is possible.

I have watched over the years huge stars take on massive challenges, David Walliams swimming the Thames and Chanel, John Bishop running rowing and cycling and a lady who truly inspires me, Davina, look like we may never see her again as she exited Lake Windermere, I now, as a result of doing something for myself, have a better understanding of what they went through, which looking at it, was a far greater challenge than I took on.

My point here is you do not have to be a star, you do not have to be a celebrity, you do not have to be in the public eye to be someone or do something out of the box, I am not and I just did. The beauty of twitter and Facebook is you can lead from the front with only a handful of followers or FB friends and prove that you can do something that others think you will never do or complete, you can start the ball rolling of change and maybe, just maybe, get others doing a similar thing. Stephen proved this point and got my ball rolling!

I shall be forever grateful to Stephen, a young man facing the greatest fear of all, faced it head on and refused to be defined by it and that in my book is nothing less than a hero. I had never met him or spoken to him but I found myself being inspired to do something as a result of his message and that suddenly made Twitter and Facebook a good thing. My only regret is I never got the opportunity to thank him for inspiring me although I thank him now in my quiet time.

I hear so often on TV, radio and social media people moaning and complaining, constantly asking what others can do for them, how others are messing with their lives, how others don’t understand, I hear people abuse others from a place of jealousy and attack those who are making a difference and that is so sad. I have been guilty of this, we all have, we are human, but I learnt over the past seven days, it is I who can only take responsibility for self. I urge you to try doing something for yourself by yourself and I categorically promise you the results are life changing. We live in such an “I want” society, trying turning it around and asking “What can I give” Stop for just a second and ask what can I put back in rather than take back out!

I hit some really low points on my ride, too many too mention, but it was at these points that I found an inner strength and determination to win my day, it was then as I faced failure and defeat that I found a resolve to fight to go forward, it was then I began to grow, it was then I found parts of me I did not know existed and it was then I found a new Ian, a new way and a new part of life I knew not existed and a new inner strength.

I was alone, scared, exhausted and often deflated, I cried, laughed, grunted, groaned, sang, whistled and loathred the wind and the rain but as I reached the end point at the conclusion of the day I felt a huge elation and an overwhelming sense of achievement and I got to share it with me, just me and that was the greatest feeling ever. I did something for me and during that process I got to freely give back to another, it was the perfect week.

Lead not follow, step out of the box, stand up and be counted and try something new, different and exciting! Be positive and never doubt yourself, there are plenty of people who will do that for you, prove them wrong, prove yourself wrong and go make a difference to you and most importantly someone else.

As Rhianna says “Shine bright like a diamond” grow from within and stare at yourself in the mirror and say “I Can” then push out your chest, smile big and shout from the top of your voice “I just did!”

RIP Stephen Sutton.


Friday, 2 May 2014

"Its Time.....To Face....The Saddle!

"To give freely of  yourself to help another is to help yourself as much"
A little over a year ago I couldn’t ever imagine doing anything that counted as “Achievable” Today however I am alive enough to do something slightly random, The random is of course to cycle for 7 days, I had no plan, but now I do, well kind of, I have a bike and a map and some hotel rooms thanks to Hilton, a new helmet and some inner-tubes, although I have not a bloody clue how to change a tyre!

Today I've got spirit, drive, determination, a goal to reach and a life adventure to experience, oh, and a sense of humour which I kinda guess is essential and will come in very handy! 
So on Tuesday morning (After an overnight train journey to Scotland) I will put on my clip on shoes into my special pedals (This will take a few attempts, a wobble and a couple of swear words)) And begin my journey to London from Edinburgh Castle, a city that is very special to me.
I have been called mad, insane and stupid, honestly, I tend to agree, at least I'm not dull! 
I am about to keep my end of the deal after asking you to give, if you haven't already it would be fantastic if you could.
Please donate if you can by texting “Stephen” to 70500 to donate a simple £5!
Please visit Stephens “Just giving Page” 
And if you are wondering why you should give,please take some time to watch this!


Thank you Stephen for inspiring me, I truly hope it helps your fundraising just a little. 

The Ride….
Day One Tuesday May 6th – Edinburgh – Carlisle
Day Two Wednesday May 7th Carlisle – Lancaster
Day Three Thursday May 8th – Lancaster – Liverpool
Day Four Friday May 9th – Liverpool – Birmingham
Day Five Saturday May 10th – Birmingham – Oxford
Day Six Sunday May 11th – Oxford – Wembley
Day Seven Monday May 12th – Wembley – Home

Thursday, 24 April 2014

Please give if you can.

Stephens story is so inspiring indeed Stephen is beyond inspiring.

I have laid down a challenge to cycle for 7 days from May 6th by simply leaving South London and heading north to try and get Stephen to 2 Million pound before midnight tonight.

I have no plan, no route and no idea where I am going to go. I would hope I can get food and board along the way, but it matters not, what really matters is hitting the £2m mark by midnight tonight. I am even going to miss the last Liverpool game!

I have many followers on twitter and a few who read this, if you have just £10 then we can hit the huge target for a young man who's vision is beyond words.

This is all about hitting the target by midnight tonight. And for the cynics - I am not doing this for any gain for myself, the ride will be discreet and logged via "Strava" and the odd "Sore arse tweet!"

Please give to watch me suffer for 7 days of cycling around this fine country of ours and to send a message to Stephen that his life is so special.

Thank you for reading and if you can, thank you for donating.


Please feel free to read any of my blogs. It may give you an understanding of why I am happy to give back to life and not take!

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

I went on a boat!

Of course we look at pictures of the world’s superstars upon their massive yachts in the Caribbean and wish we too could afford that same luxury or live the life of superstardom, to say we don’t is a lie, but the most amazing thing for under £700 is you too can share the same dream as the "A Listers"  well ok, it’s not exactly Simon Cowell or Sir Phillip Green or Sir Elton or Mr Ambrmavich, but you will, by taking a holiday on the Norfolk broads, have a smidgen of the idea and be in command of your own little harem aboard a boat, maybe note a yacht, but imagination is everything!

We arrived to pick up the boat a little early and stopped in a new pub called “The Green Man” We eat good food and listened to Michael Buble sing his Christmas songs, it was April, but this was Norfolk! I chuckled to myself and remembered the floor manager on Loose Women who is indeed from this fine county.

We picked up our sturdy vessel in a place called “Wroxham” or as I like to call it “Roy’s Town” as Roy seems to own everything in Wroxham, I wondered as we passed over the bridge if indeed the bridge was also named after him! Roy is indeed the Donald Trump of Wroxham and all power to him!

We hired our boat from Hoeseasons who were brilliant and the boat company “Faircraft Loyne’s” proved within two minutes of meeting them what lovely people the people of Norfolk are, We parked the car right outside the back of the boat (Or “The Aft” for those not yet up with my captains references!) and came face to face with the first representative of the company and indeed Norfolk proper, a lady called Kathy whose smile and welcome was worthy of The QE2! Pat was next in line and he supplied us with life jackets and signed us in, trust me it took longer to unpack our car than it did to get signed in and ready for off!

Next up we were assigned a lovely man who was to give me a 20 minute crash course in boating, he was brilliant and with his broad Norfolk accent and two teeth he took us brilliantly through the do’s and don’ts and within an hour I was the captain of the ship!

The boat had no Wi-Fi but did have a TV, much to my daughters horror we later realised that boats with WIFI were available, (And Sky and X Box’s) but take my advice, don’t get it and here is why. We as a family found a rare peace in no distraction from the outside world, we got to be a family, play cards, laugh (Mainly at me falling over in puddles, banging my head, brushing my teeth half in and half out of the bathroom, or attempting to get in the bed) and bond a million miles away from everything, it was utter bliss! Although on docking in nightly it was a race between all three of us to get hooked up to the free Wi-Fi in the local pubs, it was like an oasis in the desert!

The broads are beautiful, that is a fact, the people friendly and the boats great, but it is, if I am honest, a little the same, if you were to go for a low in the water boat you would indeed get under all the bridges but would spend a week staring at nothing but reeds growing from the river banks and the odd loving swan, or in my case a few ducks! Go high and at least get a view! Read the tide column in the broucher given to you as well, otherwise like me, you will find yourself stranded for hours staring at a bridge you cannot get under and floating tied up to a floating pontoon opposite a 24 hour supermarket and a massive flyover minutes from the sea channel!

The great fact about this holiday is that you will have no choice to re bond with the family and that is a rare thing in this fast moving world, so for that reason alone it is a million percent must, if nothing else you will quickly realise how much fun just “Being” is and how much fun watching the captain (Me) falling over in the only muddy puddle in Norfolk can be!

Would I return to the broads on a boat? No! Not because they are bad, just because I have done it now!  Would I hire a boat again? Most defiantly yes! Would I do it through Hoeseasons? Without a doubt! Would I drive my boat dreaming of Barbados and Marbella or docking into Monaco? Without question, even if my harem was the wife, the kid and the dog, hang on, that’s not a million miles away!

It matters not how big your boat is, how glamorous it may look or how impressive the place you are in, if the people on it are great, the holiday is great, so go live a mini dream and laugh at yourself pushing bow thrusters, trying to tie a sailors knot and standing on top of the seat on top deck in search of a thing called 3 or 4G, if you find it, you are a better man than I!

Holidays are not where you are or how big or glamorous they may be, they are about the people you are with, the company you keep and the ability to laugh at yourself, me driving a boat was without question proof that I am sold on the boating thing, my aim now is to do it in the Caribbean, although to be fair, it may be on a dingy at this moment in time!

It is so rare now to escape everything and just “Be” with those you love, I so get now why the huge stars of this world do it and the best bit about it, you can get to do it too! It may not be as big or as glam, but you will step off the boat relaxed, refreshed, in need of a bath, the ability to sit on the loo without pressing hundreds of buttons and remembering what it used to be like without the world knowing everything in a second.

We left Norfolk and stopped the car to let a man, with a bath on his head, cross the road, you don't get that shit happen in Monaco!

Friday, 11 April 2014


One of the most rewarding parts of my job is watching people I have worked with for years rise up the ranks of show business to jobs of great responsibility and to reach their dreams.

Four years ago Harry Styles auditioned for The X Factor (Along with the other boys but not on this day) and today they live their dreams, as does a friend of mine (who I knew as a researcher) who now returns as the boss of the show he started on. I have watched so many kids start in my business and now watch as they take roles of great responsibility, it’s humbling and honestly so good to watch and experience. The best bit is the true stars have not changed one bit, maybe a little, but on the whole they have remained true to themselves and grateful for the journey they are on right now. That’s why they are the stars they are and will last the journey!

I watched Piers Morgan grow from an editor of a newspaper to a star both here and in America, I watched a man sit in a judging seat who nobody really knew rise to worldwide super stardom and now someone everyone knows as just “Simon!” I watched some boys now known as 1D, jump up and down in a car park and now go by a number and a letter and have influenced the lives of millions across the globe, I shared Angle Delight with Olly Murrs and his family and had the joy of watching him perform as a true star this week,  I watched runners become execs and friends grow into great jobs, I sat with a friend in Scotland as she auditioned hopefuls and now she looks after the world formats for The X Factor and Britain’s Got talent, I remember a young Kelly Osbourne with mum down at The X Factor, now I watch her on TV looking amazing and gleaming with inner peace, I remember Dermot on his first day and now he is Mr Saturday Night, the list goes on and on!

Watching lives change, careers developed and new powers and influences born is really a brilliant thing to experience, the best bit is, I still get to take the piss and enjoy the banter of life with them, I am one very blessed lucky guy.

As I read it was Harry's 4th birthday from starting his journey it prompted me to right this blog as this is also a great lesson for anyone wanting to enter into this life of lights, camera and action or indeed anyone wanting to enter into any business and start the road working for a living!

Never ever think you are a nobody or a nothing, never think you are not important or not special, never stop believing in yourself or dreaming your dreams, never stop when others tell you that you are not good enough, never doubt yourself or the career you so want to do and never ever take the first no as the definitive end, it’s their “No” Not yours!

In show business as in every business, there is a list, The big boss sits at the top and the least experienced or the “New person” sits at the bottom, but you are not at the bottom because you are less important or not worthy, always remember it is the person at the bottom who holds the rest of the names up, and honestly the person who sits at the top, was, at some point in their lives, sat where you are possibly now, or indeed may have once been.

Hard work, dedication, commitment, kindness and a true passion for what you do will always shine through and will always get noticed, that in life is a fact but and it’s a huge but, you have to take the knocks along the way, without them you will never learn or grow as a person. Life is a bumpy path, it will not always be a bed of roses, not every day is going to be an amazing day, but if you stay centred, stay focused and truly believe in yourself, even if when it seems everyone around you does not, then you will reach your goals and your dreams.

Taking risk is the key, sometimes in life have to step out of our comfort zones, you know when it will be the right risk to take, you will feel it and if you get it wrong, fuck it, what a great story to tell around a dinner table one day!

Sit back, don’t be jealous of others, don’t judge yourself by others, don’t try and be like others, be you, find you, learn from the knocks of life and shine bright and be proud of yourself for taking the risks and know the hard days will come, it’s not what the sadness is or how hard the knock is, it’s how you deal with it that will define you as a person!

Stake your claim to your dream and do not let one person tell you it is not achievable, EVERY dream is achievable!

The list of people I know and love and have watched and watch live their dream is too long to mention, but as I stand in the corner, mic in hand, I watch with a huge sense of pride, a big smile on my face and think and a belief that the big guy upstairs has a plan, you just got to wait till he is ready, the question you need to ask yourself, are you?

Work hard, think of others, be kind, and dedicate yourself to the job in hand. Always apologise quickly if you make a mistake, and you will! Be honest, heartfelt and mindful and everything you ever wished for will come true. Always think of others first, be selfless, its the greatest gift in life!

If you hate what you do, change it, if you want something else, work for it and if you have a dream, go chase it, life is too short not too!

Who knows it could start by simply jumping up and down in a car park, but it may be an idea to make sure an audition is taking place, you’re going to look pretty stupid if you do it on a random Saturday on your own!

Never judge anyone before you judge yourself, lead not follow and most importantly be “YOU” because “YOU” is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with!


Thanks for reading.







Tuesday, 1 April 2014

My Inspirig followers on twitter!

So we have a new car or as I like to now call it; “The machine that is saving the planet!” Every time the car stops in traffic it turns itself off and lets me know how much CO2 I am saving, or as I like to call it, how wonderful I am at saving the planet!

If I am honest I am not the greatest planet saver in the world, Roxy is often telling me that by leaving the tap running while brushing my teeth is indeed doing something to an ice cap somewhere, the lights we leave on in the house are worthy of the Las Vegas strip and I don’t use compost in my garden! However I have done some little things to save our planet and its seems the little things in life is where change does indeed come about.

If everyone just made one small change then a huge difference would be felt globally, but it takes effort to change, it takes dedication and a long term commitment to do something different or out of our daily routines or comfort zones, To change is to grow, to grow is to see a new view of life and to indeed become, I believe, a better, fuller more complete person.

I read through some amazing tweets last night from some of my followers who posted pictures of their truly inspiring weight loss, they decided to make great change in their lives, to make a long term commitment and as a result they tweeted tweets full of self esteem and pride, I was humbled to read them and proud to share in their journey of dedication and commitment.

For me change came about in my life by taking small steps, anyone can make change, really they can, but it does take effort, commitment and a belief you can do it. The belief bit for me was the hardest part, how can anyone believe in themselves when they don’t like themselves? It’s a very difficult starting point and the mountain to climb, to start that change, looks like a sheer face cliff with no sunlight or great reward at the end. I hated me and if you hate something, why would you even want to start the ball rolling to begin that change or indeed do something good, positive and kind for the one person you hate most in the world?

My life was full of doing everything for everyone else and rarely anything for me, the only things I ever did for me were negative and hurtful, I spent my energy, focus and drive on the world around me but forgot about the one person I would spend a life time with, me!
Keeping those balls in the air, trying to keep everyone happy, trying to people please everyone soon led me down a very slippery slope to a place of much darkness, loneliness. hurt and desperation, I was, after all, a nothing, a worthless piece of shit and a nobody, sentences than ran deep in my mind from growing up. I cared not for me, so the only thing to do was care for others. I was a walking empty shell of no self esteem, no love for myself and a desire to only hurt me and those that truly loved me, I was looking for the exit and not the way in to life. I was stuck in the traffic jam of life and saving nothing, just killing me and everyone around me, who had, not supprislingly made a quick exit from this road of destruction! 

Change started with the way I put my socks on (I have blogged about this before) but the very first thing I did for myself was to buy myself a candle, yes a simple candle, I purchased a Jo Malone candle just for me. I loved my candle, it was and still is very important to me, it was one of the very first positive things I had done for myself, it even took a few therapy sessions to go out and buy the bloody thing, that’s how difficult doing something good and positive just for me was, it was so unnatural and felt very uncomfortable! 

Following that I started on a massive life change to do exercise, I changed my diet, my lifestyle and my thought process, I started to do things just for me and thus the change began. I used twitter and facebook as my drive, I signed up to do challenges for charity that would give me goals to reach and made a plan and for the first time in my life stuck to it, (Well nearly all of it!) I was not ever going to be the “Fatty” at school or have the piss taken out of me for looking like I was pregnant or being a “Pot bellied” sweaty embarrassment, I was not a nothing, a nobody or a worthless piece of shit, I was not a humiliation or an outcast, I was a breathing human but and its a huge but, I had to start to love myself and this process started with the treadmill, spin class, zumba, sha-bam, yoga, meditation, swimming and other gym activities, they taught me quickly a thing called pride, achievement and success and with this I began to love myself as I thought I never could.

Nobody will do anything for you that will change you, yes jobs might be better, holidays bigger, cars faster, suits and dresses more glamorous but the house you live in, the wooden sunbed you lay on, the super luxurious car you drive or get driven in, the label that hangs at the back of your designer dress or suit still has you in the centre of it, trust me, if you hate stuff about you, you will only grow to the hate the stuff around you, it’s a fact, I know, I tried it!
Change HAS to come from you, for you and because YOU want to do it, if you change just for you then the results are without question momentous, the cars are not faster, the houses not bigger, the holidays more glamorous, but the self esteem, pride and achievement is a reward not one other person gets to share with you as its all yours, every single bit of it, and yes YOU got to do it, you will get to look in the mirror and like what you see!

My experience of this, of doing something just for you is that people around you will notice the change and the very thing you have been craving your whole life, to be loved, complimented and respected comes naturally and you didn't have to do one damn thing to force it, you simply began to change self.

Do something just for you, start change, make it small to start, set goals, tweet it, facebook it, write about it and begin a journey that belongs to you and only you! Talk about it, share it and enjoy the journey on new roads, new paths with bigger views, amazing scenery and breath taking feelings! The only person who can change you is you, that's the truth, some come and join me on a journey of change.

The journey is not easy but the rewards for the hard work, commitment and dedication are the greatest rewards of all, fill yourself up with self esteem, pride and love and watch great change in your life happen. The best and most rewarding part of it all is you will get out of "Self" and start to have the energy, room and commitment to give back, help others and share the love you know have for yourself, it is a reward that words cannot really explain.

Stop in the traffic jam of life, hear the engine stop, take a deep breath and look not to save the planet but you, the most important thing on it!  

I'm now going to do the recycling, go for a walk and later hit the gym, its a triple whamy today!

Finally thank you to those followers on twitter who shared their stories with me yesterday, you inspire me to write, keep going and continue to change, grow and improve. You know who you are!



Friday, 21 March 2014

A Man I Met.

A little over a year a go I met a guy who was sat in a very lonely place of darkness and fear, it was a world of utter terror and the reality of it was he wanted to end his life!

I met him face to face as he pondered the very reality of saying goodbye to those who tried so hard to love him, it was, without question, tragic.

He wanted to no longer exist and to disappear quietly, to go from a world that tried to love him, to wave goodbye and to not breath another breath, he was sat in a body that knew no way out. he had reached a place of no hope, he hated himself, blamed himself and thought, in his head, the world hated him! He was lost in madness and was simply just existing.

I talk about this guy today because he took on life and faced many fears and today I looked at him and he smiled a smile of love, truth and happiness, I saw hope in his eyes and a calmness I never once ever dreamt I would see, I witnessed an inner peace and I watched his eyes sparkle once more.

By some kind of miracle he broke free, stepped out of a circle and made change, he saw a small rope and grabbed it, he met life's greatest challenge and chose to live not die.

The past twelve months have been a mountain of pain and heartache, struggle and soul searching and a strength he himself did not know he had, he asked for help, he listened (For the first time ever) and was guided by professionals, he got some bits wrong, he made mistakes, he beat himself up, he aimed high (Too high sometimes) but ultimately he found a place to sit with himself in harmony and in step with this thing we call life.

The problem in life is it is impossible to love anyone if you do not love yourself! He came from a past where everything was his fault and he truly did not like nor enjoy sitting in his skin, it was a dark, uncomfortable and desperate place to both watch and experience.

As I observe this man now I see a person who can sit quietly, not pace, shout, accuse or blame, a man who would rather give back than take, a man who understand loneliness and desperation, a man living life on life's terms, a man not a boy lost, confused and crying out to understand this great tapestry of existence, I see a man happy to tell the truth rather than lie or exaggerate to make his lonely world seem brighter or more exciting. I see a boy who put his hand up and told his truth to thus make a step towards adulthood, a step towards choice, happiness and freedom. This man removed many many masks to live how he was meant to live, he let go and trusted in a power greater than himself and he once again found humour that carried him through so much and for the first time in his life he was able to make choice.

I met this man again today and stared him straight in the eye and really loved what I saw.

I met him as I looked in the mirror.

I am truly happy, I am truly at peace and I can truly laugh a little at myself. Today I have hope in my heart and the best bit, I do not spend every hour worry about peoples opinion of me, I know my truth and that is the only thing that matters, really it is. I am free of my past.

I write this to thank YOU!  You couple of hundred who read my blogs have kept me going, writing has been a great therapy for me and something I really love to do.

I put my life "Out there" and I am glad I did, because it helped me find my way and gave me strength to go forward.

Most importantly though I write this to anyone who is staring in that same  mirror and seeing the person who resembles the first paragraph of this blog.

There is a way out, there is a life free of pain and suffering, there is a life of happiness and peace, there is a life filled with laughter and trust. There is a life of truth and compassion!

It just takes one very small step. If you have survived life this long you are stronger than you think, braver than you know and have spirit and courage beyond anything you can imagine. I know this because YOU are a survivor, YOU are special and YOU can shine bright.

Do not suffer in silence, pick up a phone, send a text, reach out, ask for help and come join me in the sunshine of life, it truly is a magical place, not one with fireworks and madness, massive highs and desperate lows, its a life where you can just sit, smile and know that everything is just going to be ok, it's a life centred and embraced and again, it just takes one tiny little step.

If you read this and you are not the person staring in the mirror, take just a tiny minute out of your busy life today and think of another. Send a text, an e-mail, a tweet, a Facebook message or god forbid a phone call to just say hello to someone, they may just have 20 masks on and be staring in a very dark mirror. If not, you may just make someones day.

Thank you for taking a minute out of your day for reading this and for the record, I am in a very happy place, so much so, I may do a little dancing later!

Tuesday, 18 March 2014


My daughter walked he 14 mile Marsden March the other day and I went down an supported her efforts on two points, the most emotional was at the finish line. I waited for about half an hour and clapped hundreds of people talking the last steps to support this amazing cancer charity.

The most emotional part was the messages written on the back of every ones T-shirts, the majority of people were walking for loved ones who had died, pictures and messages brought a lump to my throat and as I watched the many take the last steps in honour of their loved ones I watched tears well up in their eyes, it was heartbreaking, yet inspiring to watch.

As my family crossed the line and we talked I noticed so many different walks of life sharing in the same horrific story. I watched Police officers standing and clapping, nurses who do the most amazing job, hugging participants and even watched an 80 year old man with a walking stick with a picture of his wife cross the line, it was breathtaking and humbling to watch.

The parking in this area is not great, but people had been sensible and left room for free flowing traffic to pass up the many side streets by parking with their wheels up on the verge, nobody was effected by this and everyone got to watch their loved ones do something great and remember those who have been taken by the horrible illness of cancer.

Time to Q Sutton council parking wardens to act in a manner that appalled me.

This was a prime opportunity to give tickets out to as many cars as possible, I was gobsmacked at the insensitive, uncaring, money grabbing actions of two wardens. They were almost running between cars to slap on the £100 fine (£55 if you pay it quick) with a smiles on their faces.

I approached them and pointed out what was happening and why there was so many cars, they did not care, indeed so rude was one particular warden he didn't even look up at me as I talked or listen to my plee to show some leniency.

Community, trust and faith in those that run our communities and country start with the little acorn, in this case my local council. No wonder the country is pissed off, no wonder we have lost all faith in the political system, no wonder we do not trust the powers that are put in place to protect us. People had spent months raising money for a great cause, trained hard to walk the walk and carried pictures of lost family and friends on their backs, they cried as they crossed the finish line and hugged their nearest and dearest, then they returned to their vehicles (And their were lots) to find a ticket slapped on thier windows.

Sutton council and the parking wardens should hold their heads in shame.

I will pay my £55 happily, I was after all parked with two wheels on a grass verge (on a single yellow line) to avoid congestion (How bloody small minded of me!) and I broke the law! I would however rather throw this £55 at the charity than feed the greed, insensitivity and small mindedness of two men dressed in green armed with a pocket full of parking infringement tickets.

Really, the wardens should have put down their pens and joined the police oficers, nurses, families and friends and clapped the amazing people who marched 14 miles to give a little back, by doing this next time you gave out a ticket, the community might just remember what a selfless thing you did and not be so anti you, that's too easy though right?

How heartening and sensitive would it have been for the wardens to leave a message such as this on the many windscreens; 

"Dear Driver, We can see you have committed a parking infringement today but Sutton council parking wardens understand what an amazing effort you have given today and we wish to applaud you rather than penalise you. Congratulations on your inspiring effort. 
Much respect.  The traffic warden." 

To think outside the box is to grow, seriously the worker we all love to hate could have gained the respect back from the very public it serves. How?  By doing the same as the very people they were penalising - Giving back and just for one fleeting moment,  thinking of others! 

The actions of these two wardens is where our communities are simply doomed and it is all born out of greed!

Sutton council, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Thursday, 13 March 2014

The Fog.

There is a dense fog over the land this morning. This fog can also be related to life, for some.

When the fog comes down and inevitably it does, in all our lives at some point, it is hard to see where we are going, it’s a dark disconcerting and lonely place. We tend to follow others to find our path even though they may possibly be in the same fog. We hold out our hands to find there is nobody to guide us through the density of life, as we see no way out as our heads bow and our resolve to find a clear view diminishes, the fog only gets thicker, the view darker and the loneliness greater, it can be a desperate place filled with panic and sorrow.

Sometimes we hold out our hand, we ask for help, sometimes we don’t.

The fog always lifts, nowhere in this world does it stay forever and as the fog lifts a new view comes into light, we can see more, we are less engrossed looking for escape and more interested in the choices facing us. When the fog was imbedded around us we could only look straight forward, we had no other option, and it was survival, those who tried to look other ways crashed, tripped over or indeed found themselves in a thicker fog treading over the same ground with the same limited view.

So the fog lifts often by way of others guiding us to a high ground to rise above the density of the day and when it does all sorts of wonders can face us, all sorts of roads open up in front of us and we are again in control of choice, we now have the freedom to pick our route, our destination our fate.

The truth is if you don’t know the way out it is very difficult to find it, I have tried and the fog only got thicker, the view smaller and the desperation greater, it was a journey of never ending circles and the same old view. Now I have a much clearer view of life, truly I do, why? I held out my hand and asked for help. You see everyone has walked this path, many have also trained hard and have great experience of the route out, many have seen this journey many times before and they have the answers, the strength and the knowledge to find the road right for you to a greater view. I did just this.

The journey to the freedom of magical view can be a long one, but once your hand is held you can relinquish all responsibility of trying to find the way out by yourself, for now you have a guide, someone who has walked and seen many others walk your same path – They know the way out!

Help is at hand and a map to freedom available, and when the fog comes again, and it will, you will have the tools, the knowledge and the strength to not only deal with the misty journey but hopefully be able to hold out your hand for another who is lost in the same darkness, loneliness and panic of being fog bound as you once were.

Although foggy today, I can see past the front of my nose, I have knowledge, freedom and strength, I know I am not alone.

Have a beautiful day and if your fog today is thick and all-encompassing know you are not alone, seek help and hold out your hand. If your fog is just an inconvenience try giving someone a smile, a hand or a hug, they may just possibly be stuck in the fog of life.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you to the Priory hospital for taking my hand.

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Piers Morgan.

Having worked for and with Piers Morgan for a number of years I would like to respond to this article written about him.


I have been Pier's warm up guy on "Britain's Got Talent", "America's Got Talent" and "Piers Morgan's Life Stories" for a number of years now. I have sat in close company with Piers on long days with huge schedules and often witnessed him working after stepping straight from a plane and jet lagged much. Never once have I EVER experienced Piers being "Rude" nor "Mistreat" ANY of his employees or anyone who works on the show with him.

I have, on many occasion, used Piers for the but of my jokes and if honest they have been sometimes cutting and in some peoples mind a little cruel, never once did Piers EVER respond with rudeness, anger or anything other than a good comical banter.

Piers is kind, generous, thoughtful and fun to be around. Honestly in over eight years I have never witnessed him having "An off day" or indeed being rude to anyone, and if their was anyone to be rude to, I would have been his first port of call. Anyone who has witnessed us together on a TV set would testify to that.

So I say to the person who has written this cruel, untrue, damaging article and to the unnamed source, You do not know him, you have never worked with him and you are simply trying to make a name for yourself at the cost of a mans integrity. Hold your head in shame!

Working with Piers is never dull but its never rude, never horrible and never disrespectful. I work "Under Piers" to clarify for the sake of the article, but have never felt lower or less important or disrespected.

Thank you.

Friday, 21 February 2014

For the over 40's!

Roxanne is all over the text talk, I am trying to keep up but its proving difficult, so I thought it about time the "Oldies" rebel and form our own!

Here you go....

IATD - I'm at the doctors
TNIO - The News is on!
PMSNL - Pissed myself not laughing
IFWIAH - I forgot why I am here!
IAMAL - I am making a list
AAF - At another funeral
BTW - Bring the wheelchair
JWIRT - Just watching "Ice Road Truckers"
HGBM - Had a good bowel movment
FFS - Found friends speticles!
HYSMG - Have you seen my glasses.
ICOT - Its cold out today
TQITPO - The Que in the post office!
ILDITML - I like driving in the middle lane!
ICMAG - I cant move after gardening
OTMTL - Off to mow the lawn
CYTIU - Can you turn it up
CYTID - Can you turn it down?
IOTTS - I'm off to the shed!
DT - Downtown time
WFFSM - What's FFS mean?
JGIMP - Just getting into my pyjamas!
OTTS - Off to the skip!

Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, 20 February 2014

Artic Advertising Man!

I go to the gym a lot, if you follow me on twitter and even worse if you are a friend of mine on Facebook the never ending postings will no doubt drive you mad, but I make no apology for posting a positive vibe, it kind of motivates me to be honest.

En route to the gym I pass a guy who stands out in all weathers with a cardboard banner tied around his neck advertising a scrap metal yard, you know the kind I mean, he is like a walking advertising board. This guy is amazing, he waves at cars, never have I seen him not smiling, at Christmas he dressed up as Santa, he is sometimes found singing and as I pass him on my journey to “work out” he never ever fails to make me smile, indeed I now make a point of giving him a thumbs up and always try and grab his attention to give him a “You’re an amazing guy” smile.

To many his job may not be important, but what I love about this guy is he has taken it so seriously and not decided to just stand miserable and annoyed that his day is spent advertising a scrap metal place, he has taken it to a new level, he has embraced his roll and he most importantly has got any person driving on the A23 smiling, all power to him, what a truly inspiring guy. If I had scrap, I would surely take it to the place he advertises because he deserves nothing less!

I mention this because whatever we do in life comes with responsibility, my scrap yard advertising man is a fine example of this, he has taken his role really seriously and decided to carry a message of happiness while still at the same time doing his role, watching the Brits last night and more importantly the “Artic Monkeys” guy throw the microphone to the floor made we want to write this blog.

The Artic Monkeys fella chose to throw (Well more drop really!) a microphone on the floor during his acceptance speech and announce “Invoice me for it if you want to!” Here is a guy with fans, followers, listneers, a guy who has responsibility and power and to be fair makes great music, but he chose to send the sound department, a department who would have been in that arena since dawn broke and would not leave it till late into the next day, into a,no doubt, mircophone frenzy!

My point being here is the guy who stands in the freezing cold earning, no doubt, a year what that microphone costs doesn’t ever throw his advertising board to the floor in disscust had how bad it is, he just keeps smiling, just keeps giving and keeps his and everyone driving past enthusiasm alive, he has embraced his roll and taken it to a new level, he is without question, an inspiring man!

I hope the Artic Monkeys guy went and found the sound department and said sorry last night or at least sent a crate of beer backstage to them, but I doubt it, but then that is surely Rock n roll! No?

How wonderful that a man stood with a cardboard banner round his neck in the freezing cold, in the middle of a busy road inspired me more than one of this countries biggest bands. And to be honest, if the dropping of a microphone is Rock n Roll, they seriously need to call Ozzy for some "Rock n Roll"  lessons!
I'm getting old right?

Monday, 17 February 2014

Ruby Bridges Day.

44 years a go a six year old girl in America was the subject of racism and abuse that left me speechless today, the same day that a poll of conservative activists said that  41% would welcome a coalition with UKIP!
I opened my phone on the train to discover it's "Ruby Bridges" day, no, me either! So I did a search......
I began reading a story of bravery and courage from a child that moved and engrossed me so much that I missed my normal stop and ended up in a place called "Norbiton!"
The place lies between Surbiton and Norbury and as I got off the train it became quickly apparent that the reason they couldn't find an individual name for this little place and had to borrow it from two other places is because not much happens here, including, after a 40 minute wait in the freezing cold, trains going back to my last stop!
Ruby was six years old in 1960 and had a skin colour different to anyone else's in her community, she was a child known on the outside as "Black" but on the inside just a child, the same as any other! It was so ruled by a court that she had to attend a school, but in the American South, it was an "All White" school.
When attending her "All white" school she had to be escorted by federal marshals. "White" parents withdrew their kids from the same school, her father lost his job and they lived in fear and ridicule merely for the colour of their skin! As a young six year old, Ruby climbed the steps of her school surrounded by men with guns to protect her listening to the chants of the white parents gathered :
"Two, Four, Six , Eight, We don't want to integrate" 
As a 44 year old man I sat on a train as it passed my stop, sad, angry but most of all ashamed that people who's skin happens to be the same colour as mine could behave in such an evil and uncaring way against not only a human being but a child, a six year old child! Just horrible and shameful!
Ruby though stuck her ground, her mother didn't want to take her to school so great was her fear, but Ruby sat, with the threat of being poisoned and hurt, on her own, in a classroom, on a different floor to all "The White Kids!" As six year old she made the choice to not be defeated and go to a place she loved - "School!"
Ruby could not understand why she was different, why she was kept away from children in the same school, why she was segregated, tormented, abused, chanted at and ruled as "Lower class" She understood the easy route was to stay at home with her mother, but Ruby wanted to go to school and go she did under circumstances that even I as an adult find hard to comprehend!
A man called Dr Coles, took an interest in Ruby and why she just kept going back to school under such fearful circumstances and he and his wife took the very brave step of supporting her and her family and stood with them through what must have been very scary times.
This six year olds defiance against evil inspired so many children to follow and her actions as a mere six year old set out change, her bravery and defiance against the norm shone through and today, some 44 years later she effected me, a man thousands of miles away and separated by a generation!
Racism is taught, you are not born with it and it's not a disease, you learn it and that is a fact! Its the same as homophobia and any other form of discrimination and it is wrong, on every level. I believe it is also born out of a place of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of someone being "Different" Honestly, we have nothing to fear, Nothing!
No wonder communities are still angry, no wonder kids still feel unable to trust,  no wonder memories are still alive,  Ruby's suffering happened in my lifetime and only a dot away in the calender of the universe!
Because somebody is different it does not ever mean they are less than, I would argue they are special. Because someone is gay, black, white, disfigured, female, male, Chinese, Indian or Muslim. Jewish, Arabic, Eastern European, African or in a wheelchair or old they are not any more or any less than the others surrounded around them, they are human, they have feelings, strength and opinion!
So my message to ANY elected Conservative MP who would welcome a coalition with UKIP, why not stand outside a school full of children and sing "Two, Four, Six, Eight. ..and then take yourself to a different floor of the house of commons and all hug each other at how uninspiring and how narrow minded you really are, better still, I'll drive you all to a cold station called "Norbiton" and you can all have a good old pat on the back from each other for taking this great country back to 1960 and back to a place of much shame!
Lead, change and inspire this generation, welcome, support, encourage and give opportunity and goals to everyone regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation, that's the land I want to live in!
Join with UKIP just to get into government is uninspiring, weak, gutless and frankly insulting to me as a member of this country! Remember it was a UKIP member who told us the floods had come because God was angry at the "Gays"
Thank you again Ruby for following your heart and inspiring me to write this little blog - Thank you for being different, brave and a leader not a follower and for me discovering a place called "Norbiton" by way of a train, a tram and a walk!
Thank you for reading.

Saturday, 15 February 2014


Watching the devastating floods and storms in the South West of England over the past weeks I found it hard to really appreciate what devastation the people effected by this horrific weather were really going through, only now as the winds hit London do I fully appreciate what the people of the south west have been going through and more importantly I now realize how lucky my family and I have been.

My sister in Law lives in Canada and she will often call and tell us about a huge snow dump they have had, I would respond with "Oh that's terrible" but that's about as far as it really effects me, Why? Well because I am not "Experiencing it" or more importantly "Living in it" although I can sympathise I don't really understand,  how could I?

I do many things in my life today to try and have a better understanding of "Others" rather than just reading tweets,  newspapers or watching TV. To share in the experience gives me, as I see it,  a way more fulfilling life and a better understanding of the real world,  I would argue as a comedian who relies on observation this can only be a good thing!.

It doesn't make me special or nor do I look for any praise, what it does do is give me a wider view of life and a better understanding of where I sit in my world and much more poignant where others around me sit!

The storms only go to show that so often in life I have "Passed judgment" on something without ever really knowing or more importantly experiencing what I am talking about!

I chuckle sometimes when an ice skater falls over, I moan at the England football team, I get annoyed at traffic wardens, delayed trains, slow service, the goverment, the council even our PM -  the list goes on but really, who am I to pass comment, judgment or opinion when I have no understanding of that "Experience" No understanding of the job, effort commitment or passion - I am I suppose just "Spouting off about things I know nothing about!

I've never felt the pressure of a world cup and the hopes of a nation,;I've never been on a skiing trip, I've never had to hit a parking ticket quota,  I've never been on a planning committee nor had to mange a train network and I've never and will never have to have the responsibility of running a country! So who am I to have a loud opinion?

I guess this is why I love, respect and listen to my Royal family, they, above any family, have had so much life Experiance, I doubt a day goes by without at least one of them learning about anothers "Experiance" we should, honestly,  listen to them more!

I'm traveling to the north of England today to host a charity ball for no other reason than the story of a twitter follower touched me and I wanted and really felt the need to take action rather than words and share in another's experience and hopefully at the same time give something back to another, but here is the bonus, I get to have a life experience and understand another's journey better, and so as a human I grow and as a person get in touch with the true reality of life.

The charity organiser put her child to bed and that was the last hug and kiss she had, she inspires me because she now commits so much of her time so others don't have this devastating life "Experiance" Truly humbling!

I kissed my daughter goodbye today to travel to the gig, the organiser of tonight's event can't do that! By giving my time freely I'll get to understand another better and appreciate more, the most perfect thing in my life, my daughter! And the cherry on top of the cake, ill get to share all this and more with her! I get to "Pass on the experience"

Today I will have "An Experiance" some missing roof tiles and a wider view on life, but I'll still have a moan, ; I'm human and still as outspoken as ever which will no doubt lead others to comment negativity - No drama to me, I doubt they have had or understand my "Life experiences!"

I learnt something new about myself today which is as important about learning about another.

Thanks for reading and win lose or draw tomorrow Liverpool, I'll not rant, ill be thankful you gave it your all for me and millions of other fans!


Monday, 10 February 2014


Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get it wrong, sometimes things don't feel good, sometimes there seems no way out, sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we really don't know where to turn.

The positive that can be gained from this is it is only ever "Sometimes"

In life to take a wrong turn is to grow, to learn,  to build,  it's part of life's great tapestry,  it's what makes us who we are, it is what defines us and without the "Sometimes" we just stay standing in exactly the same spot.

To grow and see a wider view we have to take risk and by doing so we have to sit in the "Sometimes" A life with no risk is a dull existence and one where standing still becomes the norm, same view, same feelings,  same emotions, same sadness and all draped with "No hope"

Change is the key to growth but it is one that takes a brave step and a faith, for without faith of any kind then, I believe,  there is not much hope, and let's be honest, hope is the driving force behind many a humans day.

I've just watched Benifit Street - The one thing nearly every member of this street is missing is "Hope" if you have no hope then it's hard to keep a faith, if you have neither you do your best to simply "Exist" - Sometimes!

To be brave and change just one thing In your life is to step out of a circle of no hope and light a glimmer in a life surrounded by the cloud of "Hopelessness" You have to take the step though and to step out of a comfort zone is both uncomfortable and scary!

I have a faith today and by that I mean a God in my life, im not embarrassed nor ashamed to admit it either, to deny it is to turn my back on the very person I turned to in my darkest hours. What it also means is I have the ability to admit something good in my life, something constant and something that I am actually proud of walking with and being a part of, without a faith, as I look back on my life, I had way too many "Sometimes" although I'm still getting them today,  they are manageable. 

I'm not going to start preaching - Not my way - But my God gave me the bravery to take a little step, see a new light and grab onto a bit of hope! 

So my blog today is to say take a step, be brave, start change and let go, do something different, look up at hope and if only for a fleeting moment feel change and grab some hope!

You may get it wrong, it may screw up, it may be a disaster,  it maybe a very wrong choice, but you took a step, walked towards change and thus gave yourself some hope. ..

Trust in me it works, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly,  but it works if and only if you're willing to work for it!

Thank you.

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Dear Mr Crow.

Tomorrow the capital city of this great country will lose millions of pounds, traffic will come to a standstill, emergency services will struggle with even getting through London, appointments will be missed, loved ones will sacrifice a hug, school children will not be taught, business deals will be put off, tourists willing to spend money will get lost and choose to stay where they are and most importantly every person who uses our tube system will have the hump, why? Because Bob Crow is throwing his toys out of the pram and holding this great city to ransom – Simply unacceptable!

I know the concerns of Mr Crow are important and I know he has an argument, as does my London Mayor, but simply bringing us all to a standstill is the actions of a bully and actions I neither respect nor intend to sit back and say nothing about!

Dear Mr Crow.

If you are so concerned about the tube and its development then get round a table and talk about it rather than just calling on your faithful to simply stay at home, the same faithful who earn more than teachers, care workers, nurses and any other members of the emergency services and those that supply care to those in this city!

You and your union represent the members whose responsibility it is to supply a public service, your actions go against everything that you are indeed supposed to be providing!

I understand Mr Crow you want the best for your members, in a way I respect that, but not at the cost of millions of people reliant on using the tube every day.

Go ahead and strike, but I promise you one thing, not one part of what Boris is proposing will change, not one thing. The actions of a strike will do nothing other than bring London to a standstill, what purpose does that serve?

So Mr Crow, show some empathy, dig deep in your soul, call off the strike, make an appointment with Boris and defend your faithful like a man other than like the boy with his big gang in the playground.


If you’ve got the hump with Boris, go sort it out with Boris in the manner of a man that leads and represents thousands rather than let millions of this great city suffer.

Do the right thing and lets show the world why this city and more importantly its people are truly one of the greatest in the world!


Don’t hurt London Bob and its fine people, you are better than that!





And Boris, If Mr Crow does the right thing, clear your diary and book a meeting room, hell, I'll even come and make the coffee, badly, but I'll make it all the same!


Monday, 3 February 2014

Russian Roulette!

I have spent the last few years trying my best to get as many fans as I can to meet their idols whilst working on the biggest shows in TV, It’s been a really great experience watching dreams come true as fans get to meet their idols, especially with Gary Barlow and of course One Direction when hosting their fan event in NYC, watching the excitement, tears and hysteria and meeting their idols has and will remain to be one of the greatest parts of my job. Yesterday I became one of the very people I had met on so many occasions over the years and forgot anything and everything about showbiz etiquette and understanding. I became a fan!

On a trip to the Hyatt’s hotel swimming pool in Birmingham with my Roxy dressed in the very thick comfortable white robes and slippers than not ever in this life will fit I noticed the LFC team coach was parked outside our hotel, as we walked past the gym I saw “The Gaffer” Brendan Rogers working out in the gym, we walked past and then suddenly I became a “Fan” a proper 100%, fan! I turned on my heals, walked back and gave the boss two thumbs up, not any old thumbs up, it was two thumbs up worthy of any 8 year old, Brendan, stared at me with a look of concern, our eyes met and I am sure he could see the desperation of a response in my eyes, he took one hand off the treadmill, which in my book was risking his own life, and returned the thumbs up with a smile! Yes “The gaffer had put his own life at risk to say hello to me, well that’s how I am spinning it!

I turned to look at my daughter who had almost buried her head in her hands! Her hero is Olly Murs, not even she got as excited as I did at that very moment!

Swim done, back to the room and the whole story was read re lived at lest three times to my wife. As my girl’s relaxed, I was washed, changed and ready to head to the foyer in less time than it takes “Cara” to sing “Happy Birthday” (That’s like lightening for anyone not familiar with “Cara””)


I sat and plotted my picture opportunity, I checked what time the coach was leaving and the excitement began to build. Someone tweeted that “Now you know how we feel meeting our idols” This hit home, I was now suddenly experience the same feelings, emotions and excitement as the many I have brought down to “Meet the judges” what a fantastic humbling experience!

I really don’t get stars truck, right now however I was beyond even that!

I sat eating breakfast facing the lobby and on a table not next to the girls, I had to have a clear view and uninterrupted conversation, however there was room  for one, my mate (And to be fair almost comedy writer on BGT) who had arrived at breakfast, did he sit opposite me with his back to the foyer? Don’t be silly, he sat, squashed up next to me, scoffing his full fry up! We were like two teenagers awaiting the arrival of the biggest stars in the world!


AS the team walked to their breakfast and team room, Al smiled, I waved and put my hands up with another “Thumbs up!” Dear God I was lost in excitement of being so close to players who played for the club I have supported my whole life. It doesn’t matter what team you support, indeed if you support a team as I have done your whole life then I have no doubt you completely get my over excitement and obvious embarrassment to my daughter, the only time I have ever come close to this was meeting Emma Thompson, luckily for her she had a Loose Women desk to protect her!


Sadly for Stevie G, he had not that same desk to protect him, he began his walk down the stairs, he looked up, our eyes met, his focus and concentration was plain to see having no doubt just come from the team talk, sadly for him a 6 foot 4 inch crazy eyed obsessed fan smiled a smile of delight, despite the warning from security to not approach the players, this one was opportunity I was not going to miss. Poor Steven, he agreed to the picture but I could see in his eyes he was a little nervous, to be honest, if I had seen me approaching me, I would have been a little nervous!


I got my picture (Just) and the team left for the game.

I have to apologies now to my audience’s in BGT yesterday, anyone I came into contact with, every member of The Hyatt staff, the whole BGT team but importantly my daughter and wife for the constant re living of this story! Indeed even Simon himself began taking the piss as I began to realise the only person becoming hysterical about this meeting was me, nobody else, including the God Stevie G really gave a toss!


But, and here is the great But, I gave a toss, I met man I have watched for years, I met a man I have admired, I met a man who I have sung to on the terraces of Anfield, I ticked one off my bucket list and I got to tell the story! Admittedly over and over again!

America lost a true talent in the shape and form of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, tragic doesn’t even cover it.

Drugs are a game of Russian roulette with your life. FACT! Some will get away with it, some will die, some will never be the same again. The difference between drugs and Russian roulette, it’s not just you that might die, so many others will die around you, maybe not in the physical sense but without question in their souls. Think long and hard before you follow the crowd, pick up the gun and hold it to your head. Pull the trigger by all means, but hear this, the bang is truly a place filled with hurt. Lead not follow and be all you are meant to be, not what others want you to be. It took a lifetime for me to learn that very fact. If you hear nothing else today, I beg you, just for a second, think about it and “Shine bright” and be in control of your destiny,  not the destiny of a drug, a crowd or a fake coolness! 

You're beautiful - So be beautuful!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful week..




Thursday, 30 January 2014

Behind every man....

Behind every man, so goes the saying, is a strong woman, or indeed in some parts of this wonderful world, behind every woman is a strong woman.

Never a truer word spoken. I can only speak from experience but my Martha is my rock, on so many levels, but not what I want to write about here. (She already knows, I tell her enough!)

As a man I get really pissed off when I hear of women getting less pay than men because they are woman, if it wasn’t for the women of this world then I would doubt the men would even be in a position to indeed get that high wage, but we seem hell bent on separating men from women when it comes to the pay cheque, utter madness!

Look at any high flying successful business man and I pretty much guarantee you behind that person sitting under the title of "PA" is a woman, or if not, a very capable gay man (Who is indeed very in touch with his female side) Who truly understands the need of another man. Yet some of these successful business men still insist on paying females less, indeed the person who sets up the meetings, schedules the rooms and sends the letters e-mails and party invites to announce such archaic sentiments is indeed a woman, oh the irony!

I mentioned gay men in my last paragraph because (and I have met a lot) in my business they seem to be as level headed, creative, nurturing and forward thinking as a lot of women I know!

Let’s not get carried away here and say men left to their own devices are hopeless – No lets! It is my experience a grown man left to cope by himself can excel for a short while, but it is not long before the world comes crashing down around them, no matter how insignificant some men think women are I truly believe they would not survive without the amazing humans they call women.

If you need any further proof of how vital, important and strong women are then look no further than history, Women have faced so much sexism and segregation I could write a list as long as this computers battery would allow me, yet still some men seem to think they are not worthy of the same pay and rewards that so many men receive. You only have to look at my (And yours) amazing Queen to find the essence of a strong woman.

I have noticed that there is a huge possibility Hillary Clinton may run for the next presidency of The United States of America, never has a woman been so right to lead the great United States. She watched her husband and learnt, she has faced much in her life and still she remained loyal, strong and inspiring, she is level headed, a leader not a follower and a maker of new rules, new horizons and new targets, she is a woman of change and a woman of much humility, pretty much like Obama, yet she went through a task no other president of the united states could even imagine, child birth! That alone gives her a head start on any other leader ever given the title of The President Of The United States Of America for it is something no man could ever endure, unless of course he was surrounded by women!

Before every man starts kicking off – just stop for a minute and think!  I bet you wouldn’t be where you are today without the woman you are thinking about now!

Pay them less? Hell no, pay them more, and where did my inspiration come for this blog, a woman! Go figure!