What an amazing couple of weeks, I’ve had some time on a football field with One Direction and of course Piers Morgan, Been in front of camera three times with my friends at Sky News, The Paul O’Grady show and of course the live semi – Finals of Britain’s Got Talent and this was topped off beautifully with a piece in The Sun newspaper TV magazine under the heading of “The Talent behind the talent”I didn’t get much time in my bed nor with my family, but I just loved being busy and more the point loved being in front of camera. When you have waited so long for the break even the little time in make-up means the reality of a lifelong dream, a lifetime of commitment, passion and drive is, if even slowly, possibly materialising! However I have been round a while to know that this wonderful, colourful, unpredictable world of show business is anything but a certainty, it is as unpredictable and sometimes as devastating as the weather we moan about on an hourly basis, but it can also bring much sunshine and joy, you just never know when which I guess is why I can never give up again!
I am not writing this blog to tell you what a wonderful week I have had nor to blow smoke up my own arse, really, follow me on twitter and that would do the job! I write today as I have been trying to do over the past months to simply carry a message through my experiences, emotions, feelings and life lessons.
The truth in life is you are powerless over people, places and things, what you are not powerless over is you! It is no secret I have a lifelong dream and goal to be in front of camera, however I am powerless as to whether that will ever happen, the joy for me today is that I have spent a while working hard to be ready for such a moment rather than a huge amount of energy trying to make the moment and it has been life changing. I have not by one stretch of the imagination given up on my dreams but I have stopped worrying so much about the end goal and have poured much energy into the journey to such a place rather than the place itself.
I did this by having a long hard look at myself and all areas of my life and worked hard to put them how I want them to be, not what everyone else thinks I should be. I have worked hard at being who I want to be, I ask myself the question: If you met you, would you like you? Now I get this wrong, I am human, but I try to make sure it’s a question I ask a lot and then take steps to fix it where it doesn’t sit well! I have also learnt to listen and take advice, the biggest lesson I have learnt is you don’t HAVE to take action on the advice given, that’s a wonderful thing in life called “Choice!” But listen I do and think hard about others thoughts, after all they were kind enough to take the time to share them, to not listen is to be blinkered to others experience.
Dreams, goals and aspirations will not just fall in your lap, that is the stuff of Hollywood, but the sparkly lights and glitter may come if you prepare yourself properly. You will never win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket and you will never pass the exam if you don’t prepare properly, yes some will get lucky, but when it comes to proving your worth, you will be flawed! Life is a long journey, the great joy for me today is I am really enjoying the journey and taking it in rather than hating it for it not being where and what I want it to be, I have admitted powerlessness and try my best to make the most of every day, I try to learn from it not resent it, embrace it not push it away and laugh at it when the time is right. Some people only have one day, I ask, if this were my last day would I be happy with it?
Work for some is not everything, show business for me is my life and is only superseded by my family, they are my constants and my life, but it’s about priorities. I threw a ball in the garden with my Roxy yesterday and got a greater buzz than any audience could ever possibly give me. Today I see that, for so long I did not!
Grab the day, work hard for what is important to you, do the right thing, give freely of self and think of others before yourself and it is my experience the rest of your world will all fall into place but only if you do it for no gain for yourself, it’s the kind of rule! Be kind to yourself, look after yourself and improve yourself, I try to and it feels good, I trued the opposite, honestly, trust me the end of the game is a dark lonely place!
If life doesn’t really work out the way you planned it, maybe it’s time to take a small change of direction Be brave, step out of your comfort zone and try something new, be spontaneous and just go with it, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else, nothing can go wrong, and if it does go tits up, laugh at yourself, get up, brush yourself off and start all over again and look at yourself in the mirror and say “Fuck it, at least I had a go!”
Yes I want more time in makeup, yes I want more time in front of camera, yes I want to walk the red carpet, I want my dream, I have worked a whole lifetime for it. Sometimes in life though, you got to go do it yourself, even only for you, your satisfaction and your spirit.
This is my last blog, time now to try some new areas of technology and go buy a camera
It’s time for “The talent behind the talent” to give every bit of energy and effort to be “The talent stood next to the talent” and if it doesn’t work, I’ll warm them up the best I can and be very proud of it and then go home, stand in front of that bloody mirror I keep banging on about and say “Fuck it, I had a go!”
Thank you so much for reading my words and sharing in my experiences and thoughts over the past years. Writing has been my therapy, my energy and my fun. Who knows, I may return to it one day, but for now, I’ll take a bow and exit stage right to a new box of modern technology!
Game of catch in the garden anyone?