Sunday, 5 March 2017


I used to know everyone of my friends phone numbers, now I've not a bloody clue, which is why when my phone battery dies on me I almost feel like I've lost a part of me! So why the need for phone boxes?

What a stupid question I hear you ask? But is it?

My phone battery died on me as I was waiting in London to pick my daughter up and I'd not a clue of her number, actually nobody's number! I was isolated from this new world of "The phone" And all it brings us!

Why not put phone charging points in phone boxes? I'd happily put a £1.00 in the slot for 30 minutes charge to save me from the lonelyness of the "No phone isolation" but instead I have to wonder round cafes, bars, and restaurants searching for a plug point and let's be honest, how long before we get charged for using these? I always feel the need to buy something rather than just being blatant and plugging in without any thought for the person who pays the bill! It's an expensive experience this re -charging business. I know, I should buy one of those re - charging things but as is with me, I normally end up losing them or walking around with wires hanging out of my pocket desperately putting juice into my connexion with the outside world!

Lesson here, write down important people's phone numbers and use my phone less, yea that might be the key here!

Sending a tweet to "Good morning Britain" on Monday about Susannas' earings and a matching orniment made me chuckle, the MASSIVE name check from Piers that followed left me speechless, although I did do a little cheer to myself! I know, me speechless, yea right!

It's "Wretch 32" birthday today and I think he is "Thirty two?" That is surely a massive musical milestone!? I sent a video message with my best "Rapping" - OK so I rhymed "Happy birthday to you" with "Wretch 32" I'm a lyrical genius I tell you! I of course sent his lovely reply to my Roxy with the header "Told you I'm cool!"

I'll be honest I'm having a bit of a tough March, some things are not exactly going my way, but, and it's a massive but, it's OK! Not everything is going to be wonderful all of the time, problem is, with my over thinking head and struggles, little things can seem like the biggest darkest holes ever! Depression can be such a dark place and a very lonely one too but I'm choosing to stay positive and get to grips with the fact that life can be a struggle sometimes I'm also talking, to friends, family, girlfriend and my dog!

One of my huge PTSD fears is loss, never feeling good enough and worthy enough, I get scared, fear wraps it's arms round me and some days it takes all my energy to unwrap myself from my silent killer. Paying a bill, making a bed, getting up, brushing my teeth and even opening the curtains can seem like a mountain to climb. But I'll get through it, yes I will and one of the main reasons is I get to write it here. I get to open up.  I get to be honest. I get to get it!

I'll choose positive today, yes there are lots! Sorry fear I'm walking in the sunlight and your strong arms are not big enough today, they are really not! I honestly have so much to be grateful for. Bumps in life's road are just fine. It's life!

I'm having a day out with my daughter tomorrow, I'm off to walk the dog, I've found a plug and Piers said on GMB - Translated in my head "You are worthy and you are somebody"

Funny where that recharging point comes from sometimes!

Curtains open and sunshine everywhere. 

Hello spring and worry not March, I've been here before, I know the way out.

We got this!

Happy 3.2 day!

I see you...

You see me!

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