Friday, 17 May 2013

I hope I can help just one, thats my prize!

I am walking 100k a week today and the walk letter sent out asked anyone to send an e-mail in to say why they were walking the 100k, the best one will win a prize.

My prize - let only one person makes a call fir help and my prize will be the greets ever.

Please bear with me, its taken 31 years to have the courage to write it....

I have suffered in silence for 31 years, full of shame, fear, anger, loneliness and self loathing, today I suffer those feelings no more and I have to, really I do, let anyone else who reads this and who feels those same feelings, know that its ok to feel them, but, and its a huge but, you need not suffer anymore. 

If I can do it, then so can you, you just HAVE to believe... 

So with a deep breath, a large glass of a chilled white and some inner courage and some hard work over the past months, here goes....

31 years a go I was raped, some 6 years later I was raped again, multiple times. 

I have, for 31 years thought it was my fault, that I was to blame, that somehow it was of my making and for 31 years I have put on a very thick mask and juggled life’s game very well, but while alone and sitting with myself it was a very different story, a dark, scary, very painful story. Sadly you can only juggle for so long and inevitably I started to drop the balls and the cracks started to show. 

Over the past 18 months it has been very difficult to even exist, I could not even walk past a shop without headlines taking me back to the scariest points of my life and to be honest I hit my self destruct button.

Thanks to the most amazing wife and a small voice in the deepest part of my soul I admitted my past to the most amazing doctor and within what seemed like minutes I had the most amazing support network around me, and you, if you have suffered the same as I, can have it too, but it takes a leap of faith that I understand today may seem incomprehensible..... but know this...


I tried everything to dull my pain, nothing worked apart from facing it, dealing with it and most importantly ASKING FOR HELP!

I’m not professional enough to help you nor strong enough to pick you up and carry you but i can point you in the right direction and shout from the top of my voice Today I have no shame, guilt and fear and you can have this too.
So this my friends is why I am walking 100km, riding 100km and running a half marathon, why? because today I can and today I want the NSPCC to be well enough funded to help someone who I know is very scared right now.

And a message to those who took my dignity, youth and soul, you scare me no more and today I'll define myself, your power over me ended a few months a go. scared? Welcome to what I USED to feel....

Thank you for listening. 

Roycey x

For help from the professionals go to: 

YOU are NOT alone...


  1. You make me smile with your tweets and when i have seen you live (x factor&BGT) you have made me laugh. You are one brave man and I salute you in what you are doing for the NSPCC. Keep smiling, be happy, bless you xx

  2. I admire you immensely for sharing. My daughter was abused/raped when she was younger and suffers now 15 years on but has started counselling at long last. Social service support was nonexistent after she'd given video evidence. No other help from any source was forthcoming. I applaud you for your bravery and hope you are able to deal with life a little better now. I wish you every success in your fundraising efforts for NSPCC - perhaps you should have 'just-giving' page or similar for your fans to donate to......
    God Bless You xx

  3. Thank you for sharing this Roycey! You are very brave to talk about your own experiences, and I hope that more people can be impacted by your revelation.


  4. Very brave indeed, to face it, and to face it publicly. Well done.

  5. www.justgiving/ianroyce

    To help protect a child.

  6. Roycey, I first saw you at the audition stages of JCS, I'm a friend of Rory's family. I thought you were the funniest guy ever, and have followed you on Twitter ever since. Little did i, or anyone else, know that have such a dreadful secret. How brave are you to talk about it now. Much admiration for you as you turn that hurt and despair into help for others. Wow. I salute you. You have gone even higher in my esteem now. Tell us how to donate and we are there. Big hug. xxxx Yvonne

  7. God bless you. You have saved more than you will ever know....

  8. I was shocked and humbled to read your story. I was raped as a very young girl by someone I should have been able to trust and again and again as an older child and woman as I thought that was what love was. It's left me in a sexlesss and now, loveless, marriage of nearly 49 years.Please tell me how to donate and help someone else to understand that is not right.

  9. Wow it chills me that we both probably day in same school suffering in silence & I still have not faced my demon , I know I have to when I feel strong enough . Your lil bro would be so proud of you x

  10. read the article in the Mirror about what had happened to you in the past well done for speaking out it takes a brave person to do this. the shrinks often say something good comes out of something bad and I truly believe this you were destined to help the NSPCC and draw attention to the plight of other sufferers. I speak from experience of not being raped but running a support group for very sick women from breast implants and the continuing corrupt goverment love Dee x keep up the good work


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