In the bag!

I had a lovely evening out last night and met my long term friend Linc, who has decided to cycle everywhere, he turned up for dinner with his cycle helmet, his massive smile to light up any room and wait for it.....Trousers in a bag! Yup, that's now a thing! Put on your waterproof trousers, get off your bike and they fold back into a bag! This is why he is one of my closest friends, that and mud wrestling in LA, but that's another story sat in my book for another time!

We had dinner in our friends restaurant "Bar Remo" More showbiz deals and lunches have been conducted in this legendry Italian restaurant just off Oxford circus than probably any Italian in London, it's heart and passion is as big as showbiz in the 80's and a talent in dining to equal it!

Marco (Now the owner after his mum and dad) And his family are the definition of Italian and I love them very much, I could tell a hundred stories of trips to a place called Chertsey and waking up one Christmas morning at Marcos house and having a very funny conversation with his dad who is such a beautiful man, I mean picture the scene, it's 8am Christmas morning and the father of an extremely good looking Italian racing car driver sees another man leaving his only sons bedroom! Brilliant! If only Mr V had realised Marco wasn't even home yet!

I recently hooked back up with Marco and his family and took Roxy for Sunday lunch with his dad and his amazing mum, Elsa. After course three at lunch Roxy just looked at me with a face saying "Daddy when do we stop eating?" We left and my daughters first words "Can we see them again?" The institution of family and tradition lives on, both in Marco's family home and his restaurants...I'm very proud of him, a stone heavier but prouder all the same.

I got hammered on social media and TV following the Sir Philip Green/BHS story. After watching him on TV on the commons select committee coverage (And spilling his water, something I would so do) And hearing the words "I will make it right" I thought to myself I rekon he will. I tweeted about this and got "Slammed" Of course I did, as is so often in this world of social media, see a "something possibly negative" and go in for the attack. Way too easy in my book! I like to think outside the box and think "Just believe Ian that the right thing will be done!"

Actions always speak so much louder than words. Talk is so very very cheap!

Sir Philip is one of the most successful businessmen in my lifetime (And before you say anything I do not know him, I met him once for about 2 minutes!) He did not one illegal thing, but as we love to do in this country we seem to loath anyone successful!

I agree it probably isn't his finest hour but hang on a minute here he said that magical word "Sorry!" And put a load of cash back into the pension fund, let us remember one thing here, he did not have to do any of those two things! Nope neither! 

I may be putting my head on the PR chopping board here but I really hate anger at people at least trying to make a wrong right and I say again, by action not words!

Yes he's got a yacht, huge money, a lifestyle we all dream of but what's that got to do with anything - He's a successful business man, all power to him! He's paid back his mistake and more so made amends..Let's look at the beaviour of some of those MP'S going for his throat shall we?

Do I feel for the BHS workers God yes! Do I understand what it's like to be left with nothing, to lose everything?  Yes! Do I understand what it's like to be left with no hope? Yes! Let me explain where I'm coming from here. ..

I'd been evicted from my home, lost a business,  was standing outside Sainsburys at 8pm for the reduced food, I couldn't get a job for love nor money I had without question lost everything along with my spirit and drive ..I was at the lowest point of my life. Imagine not even being able to give your daughter spending money for her holiday?  Heartbreaking! Do I understand the empty feeling and lonely fear of worry and doubt? Do I understand loss? You've no idea!

Then this happened and it's just like the BHS story!

I got a call from my friend Simon Cowell. I had lost all direction and he sat me down in his office and gave me the map back to life. Did he need to? No! Did he have to? No! But he did and as I enter the third month of 2017 I'm now booking a holiday away with my daughter not scraping through my golf bag for a pound to buy something to eat. My friend Craig watched the tears fall down my face after the meeting, I had hope back...That's everything!

You see the haters will hate from a place of envy and jealously but two people reached out....Why oh why attack that? Why? I tell you why, because it's easy! I hate easy!

Sir Philip just did the same in my eyes and experience. They don't give those "Sir" things out for nothing and Roxy and I love "Topshop" trips, do I think "Oh the size of his yacht I'm paying for here?" No! I think "That smile on my kids face!" Oh and Beyoncé "Ivy park" stuff is actually pretty cool. In fact Rox made me chuckle the other day "Daddy if Beyonce has girl twins we could actually have a new "Destiny's child!"" That's my girl!

Sorry is a very easy word, sorry with action to make the wrong right is everything. Really it is!

To all those that "Slamned" me for trusting in the "Right thing will be done" Form an orderly que and ask yourself this "Did you just take a step out of the box and believe in someone's honour?"

Anyway, I'm off to book a holiday with my Roxy I hope you now can too BHS workers .

Sent from a pedlo in Croydon!

Thank you for reading. X

And the winner is....

I'm sat writing this overhearing a conversation between an elderly couple which started with......

"I don't go to London, all those gays give you aids, they're  everywhere, that's why I stay in Croydon!"

I was honestly gobsmacked and I really though we had all moved on however if you are gay you might want to avoid Croydon, I mean, you're never going to get a date their!

Maybe it's a generation thing - to be honest my family swore for years Larry Grayson was straight and I'm pretty sure my cousin still believes George Michael is straight! (I say "Is" as "Was" just doesn't seem right to wright!)

Talking of our older generation I did my "Meals on wheels" round today and was gutted to find out two of my favorites were in hospital and three beautiful souls had died. One month I'm having a lovely conversation with a kind Italian lady who would always greet you with "Hello my darling" or having a fab bit of banter with the Irish lady, I'd always take her breakfat bowl to the kitchen and get her meal ready. She had no TV and would just do crosswords, the last was a gorgeous soul who'd never eat her piece of fruit but we would always have a good flirt. I will miss their smiles so much as I walked in to their rooms, there one month then gone!

Time is so precious, it really is.

My heart goes out to the Oscars envolope guy it really does, when I've made mistakes in the past I was 99% of the time mortified by my own stupidity, I've made so many as well but I think they call it life! The problem I have is that I'm very hard on myself, too hard sometimes but I guess that's just me! So can you imagine passing the wrong envolope to a watching millions at the showbiz highlight of the year? He must be mortified, how do you even sleep that night after that? 

The problem is with "Mistakes" they can last a lifetime and I fear this poor guy is going to get the "Oh you're the guy from the Oscars!?" Like forever!

If I was him I'd laugh at my own mistake, the truth is if you can laugh at yourself and own it, it's simply takes all the power out of it! That's my experience anyway. Let's be honest, the wrong movie got called out and although in the glitz and glamour of Hollywood i'm sure that it was  devastating! But is it really? It's an envolope and a night which has now passed, not great for the makers of La La Land but nobody died here apart from the guys heart who made the error!

The problem is nobody can make a mistake now, pictures have to perfect and edited to perfection, one wrong step in life and you seem to be doomed but and here is the but, guess what? Nobody is perfect, EVERYONE makes mistakes! In my experience it's the only time I've learned anything and to be fair I've had to make the same few ones a few goes just to make sure!

Here is the thing! What would the families do of the ladies on my meals on wheels round (Who lost their battle with life) Give to see them make a mistake, just even one more!

Have a great day and thank you for reading.

Word!

I think I'm a cool dad, up-to-date on fashion, (Im a religious reader of Glamour Mag!), Social media and life in general, I have great conversations with my Roxy and like to think I'm not in any way shape or form embarrassing. This week I realised I am deluded on all the above!

Last weekend myself and my everything went to a trip to London, we had the usual Sunday morning conversation;

"So dad what are you up to this week?"

I went to my phone calender as I've found as I get older the memory is not what it was to be fair I don't think I'm alone in this as I spoke to a friend the other day who had to check their phone to see what they did the day before!

Anyway I ran off my list of "Things dad is doing!" One on the list was hosting the annual Norwood charity "YN property awards" I've done this now for the past three years but this year they decided to go with no comedian and that laughing bit was put fully on my shoulders, and I loved it! Was I nervous? Hell yes! I was following the likes of Omid Dijali and Katherine Ryan who had done this gig in years gone by. The problem is I don't do jokes, my comedy is simply walk out and go with what's in front of me, the problem with this is? You just hope you are going to have something in front of you! as is always mostly the case I found the things to build off and found myself in full flow (The evening raised over £170k for a brilliant charity.  Well done team "Norwood!")

This has not always been the case! I've had to climb out of a window in Hull, got booed off so badly in Midlesbourgh (Dormans athletic club) that anytime I hear the word "Midlesbourgh" my anxiety rises and I go into a cold sweat! Trust me, when James Arthur (Who's from Midlesbourgh) Went all the way in The x factor I almost had to do meditation before each show! I died a comedic death so bad on the QE2 in New York they asked me to get off the ship, it was horrific but everytime I heard the silence I learnt! I think this is the problem with today's "Celebrity" in a way, they show up and suddenly they are a star without any of the life experiences to stand them in good stead. I don't resent them, not at all, good luck to them, it's just a new world from when I first started out in the business called "Show!"

Anyway I digress!

"So Roxy what's your week looking like?"

We were sat on a train opposite each other and she began her busy schedule list!"

Drama.
Drama show.
Duke of Edinburgh award charity shop work.
Friend coming over.

"Oh, on Friday daddy, I'm walking home from school with a boy!"

Inside my head three words screamed "What the fuck?"

Silence. ...

"Daddy why are you staring in a funny way out of the train window?"

"No reason love!" I was actually planning a surveillance team, hiring a helicopter and wanting to meet this boys parents!

This is my little girl! This is the little button  I held for the first time when she was born, hugged when she fell over, dropped at her first day at school, baked with, went on holiday with, read stories too, got up in the middle of the night for, consoled when she had butterflies in her tummy before her first school play, taught to ride a bike, checked under bed for monsters, I was my daughters ONLY man!  A boy! I said again WTF!

Roxy kinda started having a bit of banter "Don't worry dad he wants to be a brain surgeon!"

"That's fantastic love!" I replied, but what I was actually thinking was "If he hurts you  or tries ANYTHING inappropriate he will be seeing the inside of a hospital quicker than he imagined!"

I dropped her off to her Mums with a huge pain in my heart.....It was like losing something you are never going to get back!

Now I know this may sound a little dramatic (Me, dramatic? Never!) But it honestly hit me like a ton of bricks! My little girl was little anymore and I was no longer the apple of her eye!

Friday came and 30 minutes after school finished I called her mum having a mini worry storm, my ex wife handled me beautifully and no she hadn't heard from her! You may want to note that this dad once called the police because Roxy was 20 minutes late from meeting me after school and I started a full scale search! I know ...embarrassing dad but we've not even started yet, I know they do a"Dad of the year award" Maybe they should do an "Embarrassing dad of the year award?" I mean Roxy once brought 8 of her school friends to watch The X factor, you can imagine the pride she felt with all her friends as the next thing they all watched was her Dad walking out on stage naked  other than my boxer shorts shoved up my arse! The price of being the daughter of the warmup guy I guess!

I phoned my mate Dave on the train and explained the situation of the Dad/Daughter silence, (He's a dad to a daughter also) He chuckled and said "That's why my daughter does karate!" "What the hell Dave, Roxy only does Beyonce!" I was doomed!

We put a date in to meet up and I hung up, I was going from mild worry to panic, as we pulled into the next station three ladies got off the train and smiled at me with comments such as "Good luck" "She'll be fine" and the one that rocked me to my core" "Don't worry, snogging only normally starts on date four!" I was a wreck!

A while later two texts arrived, one from my ex wife "She's home" and one from Roxy saying "I'm home!" I could almost see her rolling her eyes as she sent it! I had a strong urge to try and find the people who had given me such sympathies on their departure to share such wonderful news!

Today's meeting with Roxy was coffee and a whole conversation about The BRITs and it was properly "Lit" It would seem local Croydon lad Stormzy is the new really cool man of moment! She showed me his reply to Adel on "Insta" although I had to have a lesson in the words used! Legit! 

Once Stormzy put on his social media "Box park in Croydon in one hour, see you there" (Roxys face was alight with excitment! This has made him a legend, to be fair from my point of view, made Croydon cool again....Who knew!

I was lost to be honest, I'm a huge fan of Wretch 32 - (Who Roxy always has to tell me it's "Three two" not "Thirty two!") Example, Jay Z, and Professor Green so I thought I was a step ahead. I'm not, I'm just trying to catch up!

The morale of this story....I'm a Dad and that's just not cool in the eyes of my daughter or any daughter but that's also a brilliant thing. On the plus side, a brain surgeon? Let's be honest I think I probably may need one!

Have a great day my "Mandem" I'm off to find some more work, I've got a helicopter, two surveillance teams and 5 satiate tracking devices to pay for!

Safe!

Pointing!

I watched an interview on ITV's "This morning" programme in the week which upset me to my core and not just because I'm a parent, but I'm also a grown man living in a society where it seems wholly acceptable to be abusive. A very brave mother came on the show to talk about her daughter, Megan, who after a tirade of online abuse took her own life.

Devastating, shocking and so very sad!

The story really moved me and I spent the whole day turning it around in my head just heartbroken for Megan and her family  but also the realisation that we live in a social media world where resentment, anger, abuse, criticism and hatred is a daily if not hourly thing and more so seems totally acceptable and part of today's normal life! How very sad!

A normal day in life is hard enough as it is right? Now let's just throw in Trump, Brexit , Murders, sackings, twitter and Facebook rants, traffic delays, strikes, the refugee crisis, syria, the weather and normal day to day brick walls  that are a part of everyday life, it's a serious never ending stream of negativity, now imagine being a young person, imagine all that and then being personally attacked in ways that beg belief.

Every action has a reaction. I'm no saint, I've had spats, rants, outbursts and falling outs, I've said things I have very much regretted and have let myself down and no doubt hurt people along my journey, it's called being human but I honestly can say with my hand on my heart I have never once gone out of my way to hurt someone or intentionally wanted to upset someone, it honestly isn't in my make up,  the actual thought of hurting someone to make myself feel better is alien to me and knowing I had would probably upset me more than the person I had hurt, but as I said I'm not perfect!

Watching Megan's mum really got me thinking about "Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me!" In a new world of social media this really is out of date!

There is a great saying "When you point the finger look at where the other three are pointing!?" Yup, right back at the finger pointer. In life we tend to put others down and attack because we have the real issue I guess it's a way of covering our own insecurities and flaws but why take it out on someone else? Does it change anything? Well yes it does and the harsh truth of Megan's suicide is the proof!

Surely it's easier to be kind, to pay a compliment, to ask are you OK?  Surely it's more in step with the universe to support others rather than destroy them? To care than to criticize, To embrace rather than kick someone down? Surely?

Let's take Donald Trump as an example. Now I don't agree with 90% of what he stands for but does he effect me? No? Reading twitter, the hysteria is at an epidemic level, seriously it's almost as mad as his wall! Here is the thing, not one thing I've done this week has been changed by POTUS. Not one thing but, and here is the key, if I buy into the drama, anger, resentment and negativity it's suddenly part of my day and I have to carry that round with me! Screw that!

Change begins with one person, now I'm not deluded enough to think we are all about to become saints but even if we just took a second to think."Would I say this to that's persons face?" "Would I say this to a person I'm sat watching with a rope around there neck or 100 sleeping pills next to there bed?" Would you? Would I? Never!

Kindness is a really simple act. Saying something positive is a really simple act.Thinking of others is a really simple act. Today's society is lucky, you only have to type it, in my day you had to do "Bob a job week" with the cubs and scouts, now it's just a few seconds on a keyboard and you could possibly change the course of someone's day and in a brilliant way.

I only hope the interview with Megan's mum is sent to every single school and shown to every single pupil. It's that powerful.

Let's start the change, why? Because we can!

Thank you for reading and have a great day and good luck with my grammar!

❤

That bloody storm!

Yesterday was #DorisDay

The wind blew, things got destroyed,  life was lost, landscapes changed, barriers were realigned, boundaries of our sacred homes moved and fun things such as trampolines moved to different areas!

Today I've woken up with the sun shining, a blue sky, no wind and "Stuff" in different places.

Ladies and gentleman welcome to life!

I've not put my finger to a keypad in a long time because my storm was blowing all over the place last year, if I'm honest I couldn't even find the bloody keyboard my life was so dark, lost and misaligned but guess what, the storm passed!

Life is going to be shit sometimes that's just life, I guess the problem is when we are in the shit bit there seems no way out, we are sat in the middle of Doris and her whirlwind trying to find the bouncy trampoline, except it's in someone else's garden! My experience is that everyone else's garden looked so much better than mine as I sat in the storm. Why couldn't I bounce on the trampoline? Why did I have to sit in this dark mess? Why did my storm seem worse than anyone else's? Just why? The storm got bigger, the drama of the mess more highlighted and the trampoline so very far away!

Read twitter from yesterday and everyone had there own experience of Doris! That's the same with life!

It's the Why of life!

What you may find easy to accept and walk past will never be the same as anyone else. My storm will be always different to yours! My flying weelybin will never be your nightmare, my mess and my black bag full of my life thrown all down the street in utter chaos will never look the same as yours To you it may just be something to step over, clear up and move on. To me it may be hell on earth.

But here is the thing, I woke up today (That's a real gift in my life) And the storm had past and all I had to do was clear up the mess! But I got to do it with a clear blue sky, no wind and no dramatic Doris! 

I've been through hell but today I get to sit and clear up the aftermath of my Doris in my own time and so can you!

It's a calm day today, as calm as you want to make it!

Go slowly, pick up the pieces from your wheelybin, fix the fence, move your trampoline back and start to bounce again, sit back and know you've got this.

It maybe broken and a mess all around you but as the sunshines on your back know you are more than capable of starting the clear up and it doesn't all have to be today.

Fix it well, strap down your trampoline and prepare from this experience as Doris will one day return but you've got it covered....

Remember you've been here before, cleared it up, learnt the lessons and grown.

In other words ...this too will pass and you are not ever alone, ever! Remember I sat through #DorisDay too and guess what, it was just a day!

X

Stephen Fry and a BAFTA bag lady!

So I sat down to watch the BAFTA Awards last night, I do love an award ceremony and a red carpet so it was to be a valentines night full of perfection for me.

Stephen Fry hosted the ceremony brilliantly, as always, and made some very funny comments and quips particularly the "Bag lady" comment to his friend,  yes his friend and then, as is so the case now,  the twitter police and haters came out in their thousands, yes that great thing us British love to do, complain and knock down anyone successful and enjoying "Their moment" under a huge spotlight. 

You only have to pick up any publication or twitter to find this very horrible trait in our make up " Worsed dressed" "Red carpet failures" it goes on and on.

I think Stephen Fry did exactly the right thing leaving twitter even though I hear cries of "Attention seeking" and "Drama queen" Not one bit, not even a tiny bit!

Let's just take a moment to put ourselves in his shoes and to be honest, any celebrity or star turning up at any event or performing.

So you go to work, you've been working seriously hard on your project to be presented to the company (In Stephen Fry's case a huge TV audience) you are nervous but confident, you suffer with anxiety and depression but you are truly believing in yourself and your ability.

You pick your best outfit and hold your head high and prepare for your moment in the spotlight,  the whole company is hanging on your very word.  You nail it with a couple of harmless jokes and it's a triumph!

You leave the stage and make your way to the exit to go celebrate all your hard work which had seriously paid off in front of your piers and your audience, you are walking tall and proud of yourself!

As you leave there are thousands of people at the door waiting for you and then the hate begins, they line up one by one to tell you how terrible you are, you take every damaging hurtful comment in, now let's add to the fact that not one of these people could ever do what you have just done, you continue to take the abuse, your anxiety,  self doubt and depression mounts, your moment gone and the negativity flows over and over again!

So, here is the question! What would you do? Stay around and keep hearing the abuse or leave? You'd leave, fact, and all power to you for doing so Stephen Fry, it's your twitter, your life,  your self protection and mental health, it's your place to do anything you want to do!

Now if that's not enough, let's all wake up in the morning after a terrible night of hatred over frankly nothing and let's open the press stories to see how terrible we look!

Could you handle that day at work? No!

But this is showbiz where it's OK to hate anyone buy way of a faceless hurtful tweet, not everyone is filled up with self esteem, confidence and self belife in fact if you dig deep in showbiz most don't have any understanding of those words some days, it's why we do what we do, to find acceptance, no seriously! 

So you take as much time as you need Stephen Fry and know this, you owned it, delivered it and did what not one of the haters could do - Performed a masterclass.

Take a bow and know you are very loved you national treasure and in the words of a man I met once "Fuck em!" ❤

Women in the lounge!

I like women, I like to be in their company, I like their conversation, I like their outlook and I am drawn to their strength and power, their courage and their convictions, if I am at a party you'll find me with the women in the lounge  not the men in the garden!

I haven’t always treated women with the respect I now hold for them and I have learnt to work hard to change my opinions, thinking and actions towards them. I was brought up in an environment and age where woman were spoken down to, trodden all over, ridiculed and treated as second class, learning new ideas and thoughts about the female race as well as trying to understand their viewpoints  has been, for me, life changing and an ongoing process.

I truly believe in my heart woman are way more than equal to men and here is why.

A man (Not all here, just those who see woman as “Les than”) Will spend a few moments lending his time to a woman to impregnate her, he will then, no doubt, go for the “Quick cuddle” and the “I love you” before dropping off to sleep while worrying about his next big car, how is football team are doing or which suit to wear when out with the “Lads” drink on Thursday, however ,from this second on I believe something magical happens because from that moment on a woman will do something that men are incapable of doing, they will carry a life! I believe there is a reason God gave women this responsibility, can you seriously imagine a man even attempting this, a disaster!

In today’s age not only will a woman carry the baby around and all its discomforts and struggles she will still be working as well and doing everything that she did before .She will also sacrifice many things for the health of the baby, can you imagine a man giving up his wine or beer or football on Saturdays, nope!

Women die from giving birth, they go through a pain no man could ever handle and then in 50% of all cases (That’s as good as my mathematical research is going to get here) a boy is born. A woman (In most cases) Will nurture, care for, provide, love, feed, hold, cry over, worry over and protect the son until he is sent into the big wide world, now I am not saying men don’t do this, I just believe the woman does more and has a much stronger connexion than any man will ever understand, how could we, we didn’t carry the baby inside us and feel it’s every move and heart beat!

And here’s the bit that needs to change (And I believe is changing) That same man that woman gave life too  grows says “Women can’t drive, they are second class, they shouldn’t have powerful jobs, they shouldn’t earn as much, they need to stay in the kitchen, will refer to them as “Bloody women” The list goes on and on, yes the same man who’s mother could and no doubt would have died for him now suddenly believes they are “Not worthy” How narrow minded and how forgetful!

But here is the best bit, by us men changing, even just with a little step and the odd word and gesture, the circle is broken and generations to come will look back on yesterday’s ways with much horror, look how far we have come since the 1970’s and it just takes one to start the ball rolling and I believe it is today.

A woman in my mind is far superior to a man, where does a man turn to in his darkest saddest times, A man, no, too proud to do that, we men, or in my experience turn to the strong woman, the same strong woman who couldn’t hold a company together because she has breasts and may “Care” and “Feel”  too much, I have heard the saying way too many times “Men are made of stronger stuff, utter bollocks, we are just better at hiding it!

I started to read Glamour magazine a while back, I did this because of twitter and I love it on many levels, not because I like Jo Elvin,  Dawn O’Porter or Celia Walden (Although this was my starting point and a very good starting point at that) I read it because I am truly getting a better understanding of women and how they feel in today’s world, by doing this I can act and react with a wider knowledge of their feelings and emotions, I also get to laugh a lot reading it and always at the stupidity of us men!

I flirt too much and love you too much and I have not one ounce of shame saying so, why wouldn’t I, I think you truly “Run the world” you must do for it is you that holds the man together and men next time you put down a woman, belittle her, use her as a sexual docking station, undermine her, devalue her or hurt her, remember this, it is that same woman who gave you the power to do it, step out of the circle and let change begin and lets all meet in the kitchen!

Woman should be empowered, treated with respect and embraced, as a man I know I don't get it right all of the time, but the fact I'm trying is a start, Men, go out and have a read of Glamour, start following some empowered women on social media then look at the woman you may have put down today or belittled or undermined and go tell her how grateful you are and then keep on telling  her and more over, keep showing her, I promise the results for you both will be "Sensational"   

 

Thank you, yes you who has all power, the woman.

Written with respect to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and transgender communities.

 

Different!

Roxy loves The Kardashians as much as she does Zoella (The hit youtuber) both of these “Shows” have been brought to me courtesy of Roxy.

I love Zoe because she inspires my daughter, something I take very seriously, there is so much hatred on twitter, so much anger and negativity that Roxy could buy into but Zoe, Alfie (Her other half) Are without question a breath of fresh air, Zoe talks about everything in her life including the down sides, this is inspiring and brave but it truly is what I believe a role model is and should be, by sharing her life she takes the stigma out of anxiety and puts it out in the open and removes the power of the unknown and gets others to open up and talk about it, this is incredible and very powerful, a leader not a follower.

Now let’s get on to The Kardashians, I had heard of them only because Roxy didn’t stop talking about them but refused to watch as it was just another reality show but I was missing Rox, her in one room, me in another! I made the executive Dad decision and decided to watch an episode with her and I was immediately hooked!

Who were these people and how beautiful was Kris? (I have to be honest and declare at this point she was my real reason for sticking around at first and after getting a picture at the NTA's I was a very happy Dad!) This family are outrageous, engaging, entertaining, funny and slightly off the wall and I loved it and everything about it!

The Kardashians are extremely powerful with a huge following of fans so thus they carry much weight by way of influencing others and this is why when I read the story of Bruce Jenner undergoing a sex change I found it nothing less than inspiring and extremely brave. I got panic attacks talking about my story to a few thousand, what he is doing is just incredible!

Let’s look at this, here is a man known not only all over America but also over the world who announces to a masive following that he wasn’t being true to himself. Many of his fans and followers will have no doubt laughed at this announcement or may have been shocked by it but he believes he is doing right by himself and not by others, he has ultimately taken control of his own life and is doing exactly what he pleases with it and that I find incredible. The support coming from his own family is just beautiful as well and again hugely inspiring. As I write this it reminds me of Sam Smith saying "My life changed when I truly became me" How true this is.

We so often in life just want to “Fit in” or just “Follow the crowd” or “Not cause any waves” Why? Surely we were all put on this earth to be amazing, to do amazing things, to embrace all that we are? We don’t do things or challenge ourselves, or try change because we allow our fears to block us from change! But why fear? What are we fearing? Fear of what others may think? That’s none of our business surely!

There are leaders and there are followers (A statement my sister in law would tell my beautiful niece Olivia often) Why follow when you can lead, why sit in the same old boring place? Why just exist? Why keep doing things to please everyone else? Why not take a risk, a leap, a jump or even a small step, ask yourself: What is the worst thing that could happen here? I’d suggest nothing!

Bruce Jenner will be up for much ridicule, of that I am sure, but I also believe the people who rip into him for making this choice about his life will be people who are unable to come to terms with their own lives, people who will not have the courage to make real change, to inspire others, to make a difference, these people are the followers, not the leaders ,they are the ones who cannot overcome fear so use it to poke at others. They are the weak ones not the strong empowered ones!

You don’t have to be famous or as popular as Bruce Jenner or Zoe to make change because by changing self and being true to one self you will change the most important person in the world, YOU! And I promise you if you are brave and take that small step, you will change another and so the chain begins.

Anything is possible in this life, anything at all and Bruce Jenner and Zoe are proof that taking a small step, speaking out and making change can indeed change more than one life, they can change millions of lives.

And before you think I am about to announce I am going to become “Julia” I am not, although having said that this would make me a lesbian and thus a little closer to getting a snog off Ellen or a date with Vikki Beaching who also stood up, talked and changed so many lives.

We only have this day, don’t sit in fear, step through it, embrace it and own the day, own yourself and be the person you are so capable of being, fight the fear and do it anyway, shit, you may even enjoy it!

I for one don't want to be lowered into my grave to solemn music, I want to slide and skid right into it with blasting music shouting, "Now that was one hell of a ride!"

.

Thanks for reading and sorry about the grammer, it’s not my strongest point!

My last blog....

What an amazing couple of weeks, I’ve had some time on a football field with One Direction and of course Piers Morgan, Been in front of camera three times with my friends at Sky News, The Paul O’Grady show and of course the live semi – Finals of Britain’s Got Talent and this was topped off beautifully with a piece in The Sun newspaper TV magazine under the heading of “The Talent behind the talent”

I didn’t get much time in my bed nor with my family, but I just loved being busy and more the point loved being in front of camera. When you have waited so long for the break even the little time in make-up means the reality of a lifelong dream, a lifetime of commitment, passion and drive is, if even slowly, possibly materialising! However I have been round a while to know that this wonderful, colourful, unpredictable world of show business is anything but a certainty, it is as unpredictable and sometimes as devastating as the weather we moan about on an hourly basis, but it can also bring much sunshine and joy, you just never know when which I guess is why I can never give up again!

I am not writing this blog to tell you what a wonderful week I have had nor to blow smoke up my own arse, really, follow me on twitter and that would do the job! I write today as I have been trying to do over the past months to simply carry a message through my experiences, emotions, feelings and life lessons.

The truth in life is you are powerless over people, places and things, what you are not powerless over is you! It is no secret I have a lifelong dream and goal to be in front of camera, however I am powerless as to whether that will ever happen, the joy for me today is that I have spent a while working hard to be ready for such a moment rather than a huge amount of energy trying to make the moment and it has been life changing. I have not by one stretch of the imagination given up on my dreams but I have stopped worrying so much about the end goal and have poured much energy into the journey to such a place rather than the place itself.

I did this by having a long hard look at myself and all areas of my life and worked hard to put them how I want them to be, not what everyone else thinks I should be. I have worked hard at being who I want to be, I ask myself the question: If you met you, would you like you? Now I get this wrong, I am human, but I try to make sure it’s a question I ask a lot and then take steps to fix it where it doesn’t sit well! I have also learnt to listen and take advice, the biggest lesson I have learnt is you don’t HAVE to take action on the advice given, that’s a wonderful thing in life called “Choice!” But listen I do and think hard about others thoughts, after all they were kind enough to take the time to share them, to not listen is to be blinkered to others experience.

Dreams, goals and aspirations will not just fall in your lap, that is the stuff of Hollywood, but the sparkly lights and glitter may come if you prepare yourself properly. You will never win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket and you will never pass the exam if you don’t prepare properly, yes some will get lucky, but when it comes to proving your worth, you will be flawed! Life is a long journey, the great joy for me today is I am really enjoying the journey and taking it in rather than hating it for it not being where and what I want it to be, I have admitted powerlessness and try my best to make the most of every day, I try to learn from it not resent it, embrace it not push it away and laugh at it when the time is right. Some people only have one day, I ask, if this were my last day would I be happy with it?

Work for some is not everything, show business for me is my life and is only superseded by my family, they are my constants and my life, but it’s about priorities. I threw a ball in the garden with my Roxy yesterday and got a greater buzz than any audience could ever possibly give me. Today I see that, for so long I did not!

Grab the day, work hard for what is important to you, do the right thing, give freely of self and think of others before yourself and it is my experience the rest of your world will all fall into place but only if you do it for no gain for yourself, it’s the kind of rule! Be kind to yourself, look after yourself and improve yourself, I try to and it feels good, I trued the opposite, honestly, trust me the end of the game is a dark lonely place!

If life doesn’t really work out the way you planned it, maybe it’s time to take a small change of direction Be brave, step out of your comfort zone and try something new, be spontaneous and just go with it, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else, nothing can go wrong, and if it does go tits up, laugh at yourself, get up, brush yourself off and start all over again and look at yourself in the mirror and say “Fuck it, at least I had a go!”

Yes I want more time in makeup, yes I want more time in front of camera, yes I want to walk the red carpet, I want my dream, I have worked a whole lifetime for it. Sometimes in life though, you got to go do it yourself, even only for you, your satisfaction and your spirit.

This is my last blog, time now to try some new areas of technology and go buy a camera

It’s time for “The talent behind the talent” to give every bit of energy and effort to be “The talent stood next to the talent” and if it doesn’t work, I’ll warm them up the best I can and be very proud of it and then go home, stand in front of that bloody mirror I keep banging on about and say “Fuck it, I had a go!”

Thank you so much for reading my words and sharing in my experiences and thoughts over the past years. Writing has been my therapy, my energy and my fun. Who knows, I may return to it one day, but for now, I’ll take a bow and exit stage right to a new box of modern technology!

Game of catch in the garden anyone? 

Ian.

 

 

New Things..

Finding new things are just so exciting, for example this week I found out how to connect my "Spotify" via my Bluetooth to my car speakers, now to the modern hip reader this may sound like a simple task, but for me it is an epic occasion, sadly though I now know I am getting old and technology flies past my years, I am happy to own that and just get on with it!

A friend then pointed out another amazing new find, the little arrow by the fuel gauge in a car is in fact pointing at the side your fuel flap is, for years I thought this was an arrow for simple folk like myself to tell me the car was once again left empty by the wife, utter genius, I also found some money in my jeans pocket this week, finding new stuff is just great and makes me really happy!

So it's election day and I always feel privileged to have a vote in a democratic society, I always go with my wife and I always vote with pride and take the responsibility of voting very very seriously!

I used to live in a flat in central London and new neighbours arrived, they were asylum seekers from Afghanistan, (I later found this out) a man a wife and his two children, the family moved into a newly refurbished flat with all the mod cons, after a few days of moving in I noticed the man of the house lighting a fire outside for his wife to cook the family meal, was I shocked, yes, did I go up in arms about this happening in a nice street in a nice area of London, yes, but here is the but, my wife and I discussed it, and I decided to let the man know about the cooker in his flat and to start up a conversation. I never saw the fire in the front porch area again, but we had started a conversation and thus a relationship. I used to watch him every morning go out on a bicycle to collected junk to sell at a car boot sale, he would leave at the crack of dawn and return late at night his second hand wobbly bike full with anything he could sell to feed his family, I was also very proud of my front garden, (I may have mentioned in a previous blog I won a local front garden completion, probably the only award I have ever won and one I am very proud of and would tell anyone regardless of them glazing over with boredom at my utter delight) Any way one weekend I noticed his family in his overgrown front garden with kitchen spoons weeding and making good their garden, he said in broken English he was "Embarrassed at his garden making the street look bad" This man was fitting in as much as I was trying to understand him.

At Christmas and although they were Muslim, he brought round a Christmas card and when we moved he came out with his family and was visibly upset, he shook my hand tight and thanked me and my family for our kindness and he said and I quote "You are like family to us and we are so sad you now leave" I honestly felt a lump in my throat.

This family were different but actually the same as most of this country, they were kind, hard working lovely people, they were simply trying to do the best for their family and we as a nation gave them some hope and an opportunity and I learnt something new and it was as exciting as the arrow on the petrol gauge and the music that now pumps through my car speakers!

I believe this country is seriously pissed off about immigration, but I want a party open to inclusion not exclusion, I want a party brave enough to stand up and put up some boundaries not borders and walls and high fences, I certainly do not ever want a party prepared to stand in front of any camera possible and slap the many amazing cultures who live in and put into this country in the face. Its simply wrong, unacceptable and a sad day for a "United" Kingdom. We should actually feel proud that so many want to be part of our life here, not ashamed of it, a great cake is made up of many different ingredients, if it was made with the same old stuff it would be bland, tasteless and nobody would want to try it or be part of the making of it!

Try something new, try talking, listening and understanding, I did and I learnt just because someone comes from a place different to I and speaks different to I acts differently to I and does things differently to I does not EVER make them less than I.

That is the party political broadcast on behalf of the "Roycey" party to about 200 hundred of you, really, I need to get back to work or bake a cake full of so many ingredients we all get a real buzz out of it!

Thanks for reading

Roycey.

"I Can!"

“I Can’t” is only one letter off “I Can!” and over the last seven days I proved that point and not to anyone else other than myself.

To make an impromptu “I Can” and then to grab a bike, a ruck sack and a map and cycle from Edinburgh to London is, reading it now and looking back, somewhat insane and slightly radical but it was not unachievable and defiantly not out of the realms of possibility and it is was, without question, one of the greatest things I have ever done in my life.

I learnt so much about myself, I learnt that when someone puts their mind to something anything, really anything is possible.

I have watched over the years huge stars take on massive challenges, David Walliams swimming the Thames and Chanel, John Bishop running rowing and cycling and a lady who truly inspires me, Davina, look like we may never see her again as she exited Lake Windermere, I now, as a result of doing something for myself, have a better understanding of what they went through, which looking at it, was a far greater challenge than I took on.

My point here is you do not have to be a star, you do not have to be a celebrity, you do not have to be in the public eye to be someone or do something out of the box, I am not and I just did. The beauty of twitter and Facebook is you can lead from the front with only a handful of followers or FB friends and prove that you can do something that others think you will never do or complete, you can start the ball rolling of change and maybe, just maybe, get others doing a similar thing. Stephen proved this point and got my ball rolling!

I shall be forever grateful to Stephen, a young man facing the greatest fear of all, faced it head on and refused to be defined by it and that in my book is nothing less than a hero. I had never met him or spoken to him but I found myself being inspired to do something as a result of his message and that suddenly made Twitter and Facebook a good thing. My only regret is I never got the opportunity to thank him for inspiring me although I thank him now in my quiet time.

I hear so often on TV, radio and social media people moaning and complaining, constantly asking what others can do for them, how others are messing with their lives, how others don’t understand, I hear people abuse others from a place of jealousy and attack those who are making a difference and that is so sad. I have been guilty of this, we all have, we are human, but I learnt over the past seven days, it is I who can only take responsibility for self. I urge you to try doing something for yourself by yourself and I categorically promise you the results are life changing. We live in such an “I want” society, trying turning it around and asking “What can I give” Stop for just a second and ask what can I put back in rather than take back out!

I hit some really low points on my ride, too many too mention, but it was at these points that I found an inner strength and determination to win my day, it was then as I faced failure and defeat that I found a resolve to fight to go forward, it was then I began to grow, it was then I found parts of me I did not know existed and it was then I found a new Ian, a new way and a new part of life I knew not existed and a new inner strength.

I was alone, scared, exhausted and often deflated, I cried, laughed, grunted, groaned, sang, whistled and loathred the wind and the rain but as I reached the end point at the conclusion of the day I felt a huge elation and an overwhelming sense of achievement and I got to share it with me, just me and that was the greatest feeling ever. I did something for me and during that process I got to freely give back to another, it was the perfect week.

Lead not follow, step out of the box, stand up and be counted and try something new, different and exciting! Be positive and never doubt yourself, there are plenty of people who will do that for you, prove them wrong, prove yourself wrong and go make a difference to you and most importantly someone else.

As Rhianna says “Shine bright like a diamond” grow from within and stare at yourself in the mirror and say “I Can” then push out your chest, smile big and shout from the top of your voice “I just did!”

Roycey.

 

RIP Stephen Sutton.

 

 

"Its Time.....To Face....The Saddle!

"To give freely of  yourself to help another is to help yourself as much"

#Cycling7DaysForStephen

A little over a year ago I couldn’t ever imagine doing anything that counted as “Achievable” Today however I am alive enough to do something slightly random, The random is of course to cycle for 7 days, I had no plan, but now I do, well kind of, I have a bike and a map and some hotel rooms thanks to Hilton, a new helmet and some inner-tubes, although I have not a bloody clue how to change a tyre!

Today I've got spirit, drive, determination, a goal to reach and a life adventure to experience, oh, and a sense of humour which I kinda guess is essential and will come in very handy! 

So on Tuesday morning (After an overnight train journey to Scotland) I will put on my clip on shoes into my special pedals (This will take a few attempts, a wobble and a couple of swear words)) And begin my journey to London from Edinburgh Castle, a city that is very special to me.

I have been called mad, insane and stupid, honestly, I tend to agree, at least I'm not dull! 

I am about to keep my end of the deal after asking you to give, if you haven't already it would be fantastic if you could.

Please donate if you can by texting “Stephen” to 70500 to donate a simple £5!

Or

Please visit Stephens “Just giving Page” 

www.justgiving.com/Stephen-Sutton-TCT

And if you are wondering why you should give,please take some time to watch this!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=FtIYYMqt7OU

Thank you Stephen for inspiring me, I truly hope it helps your fundraising just a little. 

The Ride….

Day One Tuesday May 6th – Edinburgh – Carlisle

Day Two Wednesday May 7^th Carlisle – Lancaster

Day Three Thursday May 8^th – Lancaster – Liverpool

Day Four Friday May 9^th – Liverpool – Birmingham

Day Five Saturday May 10^th – Birmingham – Oxford

Day Six Sunday May 11^th – Oxford – Wembley

Day Seven Monday May 12^th – Wembley – Home

Please give if you can.

Stephens story is so inspiring indeed Stephen is beyond inspiring.

I have laid down a challenge to cycle for 7 days from May 6th by simply leaving South London and heading north to try and get Stephen to 2 Million pound before midnight tonight.

I have no plan, no route and no idea where I am going to go. I would hope I can get food and board along the way, but it matters not, what really matters is hitting the £2m mark by midnight tonight. I am even going to miss the last Liverpool game!

I have many followers on twitter and a few who read this, if you have just £10 then we can hit the huge target for a young man who's vision is beyond words.

This is all about hitting the target by midnight tonight. And for the cynics - I am not doing this for any gain for myself, the ride will be discreet and logged via "Strava" and the odd "Sore arse tweet!"

Please give to watch me suffer for 7 days of cycling around this fine country of ours and to send a message to Stephen that his life is so special.

Thank you for reading and if you can, thank you for donating.

https://www.justgiving.com/Stephen-Sutton-TCT

Please feel free to read any of my blogs. It may give you an understanding of why I am happy to give back to life and not take!

I went on a boat!

Of course we look at pictures of the world’s superstars upon their massive yachts in the Caribbean and wish we too could afford that same luxury or live the life of superstardom, to say we don’t is a lie, but the most amazing thing for under £700 is you too can share the same dream as the "A Listers"  well ok, it’s not exactly Simon Cowell or Sir Phillip Green or Sir Elton or Mr Ambrmavich, but you will, by taking a holiday on the Norfolk broads, have a smidgen of the idea and be in command of your own little harem aboard a boat, maybe note a yacht, but imagination is everything!

We arrived to pick up the boat a little early and stopped in a new pub called “The Green Man” We eat good food and listened to Michael Buble sing his Christmas songs, it was April, but this was Norfolk! I chuckled to myself and remembered the floor manager on Loose Women who is indeed from this fine county.

We picked up our sturdy vessel in a place called “Wroxham” or as I like to call it “Roy’s Town” as Roy seems to own everything in Wroxham, I wondered as we passed over the bridge if indeed the bridge was also named after him! Roy is indeed the Donald Trump of Wroxham and all power to him!

We hired our boat from Hoeseasons who were brilliant and the boat company “Faircraft Loyne’s” proved within two minutes of meeting them what lovely people the people of Norfolk are, We parked the car right outside the back of the boat (Or “The Aft” for those not yet up with my captains references!) and came face to face with the first representative of the company and indeed Norfolk proper, a lady called Kathy whose smile and welcome was worthy of The QE2! Pat was next in line and he supplied us with life jackets and signed us in, trust me it took longer to unpack our car than it did to get signed in and ready for off!

Next up we were assigned a lovely man who was to give me a 20 minute crash course in boating, he was brilliant and with his broad Norfolk accent and two teeth he took us brilliantly through the do’s and don’ts and within an hour I was the captain of the ship!

The boat had no Wi-Fi but did have a TV, much to my daughters horror we later realised that boats with WIFI were available, (And Sky and X Box’s) but take my advice, don’t get it and here is why. We as a family found a rare peace in no distraction from the outside world, we got to be a family, play cards, laugh (Mainly at me falling over in puddles, banging my head, brushing my teeth half in and half out of the bathroom, or attempting to get in the bed) and bond a million miles away from everything, it was utter bliss! Although on docking in nightly it was a race between all three of us to get hooked up to the free Wi-Fi in the local pubs, it was like an oasis in the desert!

The broads are beautiful, that is a fact, the people friendly and the boats great, but it is, if I am honest, a little the same, if you were to go for a low in the water boat you would indeed get under all the bridges but would spend a week staring at nothing but reeds growing from the river banks and the odd loving swan, or in my case a few ducks! Go high and at least get a view! Read the tide column in the broucher given to you as well, otherwise like me, you will find yourself stranded for hours staring at a bridge you cannot get under and floating tied up to a floating pontoon opposite a 24 hour supermarket and a massive flyover minutes from the sea channel!

The great fact about this holiday is that you will have no choice to re bond with the family and that is a rare thing in this fast moving world, so for that reason alone it is a million percent must, if nothing else you will quickly realise how much fun just “Being” is and how much fun watching the captain (Me) falling over in the only muddy puddle in Norfolk can be!

Would I return to the broads on a boat? No! Not because they are bad, just because I have done it now!  Would I hire a boat again? Most defiantly yes! Would I do it through Hoeseasons? Without a doubt! Would I drive my boat dreaming of Barbados and Marbella or docking into Monaco? Without question, even if my harem was the wife, the kid and the dog, hang on, that’s not a million miles away!

It matters not how big your boat is, how glamorous it may look or how impressive the place you are in, if the people on it are great, the holiday is great, so go live a mini dream and laugh at yourself pushing bow thrusters, trying to tie a sailors knot and standing on top of the seat on top deck in search of a thing called 3 or 4G, if you find it, you are a better man than I!

Holidays are not where you are or how big or glamorous they may be, they are about the people you are with, the company you keep and the ability to laugh at yourself, me driving a boat was without question proof that I am sold on the boating thing, my aim now is to do it in the Caribbean, although to be fair, it may be on a dingy at this moment in time!

It is so rare now to escape everything and just “Be” with those you love, I so get now why the huge stars of this world do it and the best bit about it, you can get to do it too! It may not be as big or as glam, but you will step off the boat relaxed, refreshed, in need of a bath, the ability to sit on the loo without pressing hundreds of buttons and remembering what it used to be like without the world knowing everything in a second.

We left Norfolk and stopped the car to let a man, with a bath on his head, cross the road, you don't get that shit happen in Monaco!

Dreams!

One of the most rewarding parts of my job is watching people I have worked with for years rise up the ranks of show business to jobs of great responsibility and to reach their dreams.

Four years ago Harry Styles auditioned for The X Factor (Along with the other boys but not on this day) and today they live their dreams, as does a friend of mine (who I knew as a researcher) who now returns as the boss of the show he started on. I have watched so many kids start in my business and now watch as they take roles of great responsibility, it’s humbling and honestly so good to watch and experience. The best bit is the true stars have not changed one bit, maybe a little, but on the whole they have remained true to themselves and grateful for the journey they are on right now. That’s why they are the stars they are and will last the journey!

I watched Piers Morgan grow from an editor of a newspaper to a star both here and in America, I watched a man sit in a judging seat who nobody really knew rise to worldwide super stardom and now someone everyone knows as just “Simon!” I watched some boys now known as 1D, jump up and down in a car park and now go by a number and a letter and have influenced the lives of millions across the globe, I shared Angle Delight with Olly Murrs and his family and had the joy of watching him perform as a true star this week,  I watched runners become execs and friends grow into great jobs, I sat with a friend in Scotland as she auditioned hopefuls and now she looks after the world formats for The X Factor and Britain’s Got talent, I remember a young Kelly Osbourne with mum down at The X Factor, now I watch her on TV looking amazing and gleaming with inner peace, I remember Dermot on his first day and now he is Mr Saturday Night, the list goes on and on!

Watching lives change, careers developed and new powers and influences born is really a brilliant thing to experience, the best bit is, I still get to take the piss and enjoy the banter of life with them, I am one very blessed lucky guy.

As I read it was Harry's 4^th birthday from starting his journey it prompted me to right this blog as this is also a great lesson for anyone wanting to enter into this life of lights, camera and action or indeed anyone wanting to enter into any business and start the road working for a living!

Never ever think you are a nobody or a nothing, never think you are not important or not special, never stop believing in yourself or dreaming your dreams, never stop when others tell you that you are not good enough, never doubt yourself or the career you so want to do and never ever take the first no as the definitive end, it’s their “No” Not yours!

In show business as in every business, there is a list, The big boss sits at the top and the least experienced or the “New person” sits at the bottom, but you are not at the bottom because you are less important or not worthy, always remember it is the person at the bottom who holds the rest of the names up, and honestly the person who sits at the top, was, at some point in their lives, sat where you are possibly now, or indeed may have once been.

Hard work, dedication, commitment, kindness and a true passion for what you do will always shine through and will always get noticed, that in life is a fact but and it’s a huge but, you have to take the knocks along the way, without them you will never learn or grow as a person. Life is a bumpy path, it will not always be a bed of roses, not every day is going to be an amazing day, but if you stay centred, stay focused and truly believe in yourself, even if when it seems everyone around you does not, then you will reach your goals and your dreams.

Taking risk is the key, sometimes in life have to step out of our comfort zones, you know when it will be the right risk to take, you will feel it and if you get it wrong, fuck it, what a great story to tell around a dinner table one day!

Sit back, don’t be jealous of others, don’t judge yourself by others, don’t try and be like others, be you, find you, learn from the knocks of life and shine bright and be proud of yourself for taking the risks and know the hard days will come, it’s not what the sadness is or how hard the knock is, it’s how you deal with it that will define you as a person!

Stake your claim to your dream and do not let one person tell you it is not achievable, EVERY dream is achievable!

The list of people I know and love and have watched and watch live their dream is too long to mention, but as I stand in the corner, mic in hand, I watch with a huge sense of pride, a big smile on my face and think and a belief that the big guy upstairs has a plan, you just got to wait till he is ready, the question you need to ask yourself, are you?

Work hard, think of others, be kind, and dedicate yourself to the job in hand. Always apologise quickly if you make a mistake, and you will! Be honest, heartfelt and mindful and everything you ever wished for will come true. Always think of others first, be selfless, its the greatest gift in life!

If you hate what you do, change it, if you want something else, work for it and if you have a dream, go chase it, life is too short not too!

Who knows it could start by simply jumping up and down in a car park, but it may be an idea to make sure an audition is taking place, you’re going to look pretty stupid if you do it on a random Saturday on your own!

Never judge anyone before you judge yourself, lead not follow and most importantly be “YOU” because “YOU” is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with!

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Roycey.

 

 

 

 

My Inspirig followers on twitter!

So we have a new car or as I like to now call it; “The machine that is saving the planet!” Every time the car stops in traffic it turns itself off and lets me know how much CO2 I am saving, or as I like to call it, how wonderful I am at saving the planet!

If I am honest I am not the greatest planet saver in the world, Roxy is often telling me that by leaving the tap running while brushing my teeth is indeed doing something to an ice cap somewhere, the lights we leave on in the house are worthy of the Las Vegas strip and I don’t use compost in my garden! However I have done some little things to save our planet and its seems the little things in life is where change does indeed come about.

If everyone just made one small change then a huge difference would be felt globally, but it takes effort to change, it takes dedication and a long term commitment to do something different or out of our daily routines or comfort zones, To change is to grow, to grow is to see a new view of life and to indeed become, I believe, a better, fuller more complete person.

I read through some amazing tweets last night from some of my followers who posted pictures of their truly inspiring weight loss, they decided to make great change in their lives, to make a long term commitment and as a result they tweeted tweets full of self esteem and pride, I was humbled to read them and proud to share in their journey of dedication and commitment.

For me change came about in my life by taking small steps, anyone can make change, really they can, but it does take effort, commitment and a belief you can do it. The belief bit for me was the hardest part, how can anyone believe in themselves when they don’t like themselves? It’s a very difficult starting point and the mountain to climb, to start that change, looks like a sheer face cliff with no sunlight or great reward at the end. I hated me and if you hate something, why would you even want to start the ball rolling to begin that change or indeed do something good, positive and kind for the one person you hate most in the world?

My life was full of doing everything for everyone else and rarely anything for me, the only things I ever did for me were negative and hurtful, I spent my energy, focus and drive on the world around me but forgot about the one person I would spend a life time with, me!

Keeping those balls in the air, trying to keep everyone happy, trying to people please everyone soon led me down a very slippery slope to a place of much darkness, loneliness. hurt and desperation, I was, after all, a nothing, a worthless piece of shit and a nobody, sentences than ran deep in my mind from growing up. I cared not for me, so the only thing to do was care for others. I was a walking empty shell of no self esteem, no love for myself and a desire to only hurt me and those that truly loved me, I was looking for the exit and not the way in to life. I was stuck in the traffic jam of life and saving nothing, just killing me and everyone around me, who had, not supprislingly made a quick exit from this road of destruction! 

Change started with the way I put my socks on (I have blogged about this before) but the very first thing I did for myself was to buy myself a candle, yes a simple candle, I purchased a Jo Malone candle just for me. I loved my candle, it was and still is very important to me, it was one of the very first positive things I had done for myself, it even took a few therapy sessions to go out and buy the bloody thing, that’s how difficult doing something good and positive just for me was, it was so unnatural and felt very uncomfortable! 

Following that I started on a massive life change to do exercise, I changed my diet, my lifestyle and my thought process, I started to do things just for me and thus the change began. I used twitter and facebook as my drive, I signed up to do challenges for charity that would give me goals to reach and made a plan and for the first time in my life stuck to it, (Well nearly all of it!) I was not ever going to be the “Fatty” at school or have the piss taken out of me for looking like I was pregnant or being a “Pot bellied” sweaty embarrassment, I was not a nothing, a nobody or a worthless piece of shit, I was not a humiliation or an outcast, I was a breathing human but and its a huge but, I had to start to love myself and this process started with the treadmill, spin class, zumba, sha-bam, yoga, meditation, swimming and other gym activities, they taught me quickly a thing called pride, achievement and success and with this I began to love myself as I thought I never could.

Nobody will do anything for you that will change you, yes jobs might be better, holidays bigger, cars faster, suits and dresses more glamorous but the house you live in, the wooden sunbed you lay on, the super luxurious car you drive or get driven in, the label that hangs at the back of your designer dress or suit still has you in the centre of it, trust me, if you hate stuff about you, you will only grow to the hate the stuff around you, it’s a fact, I know, I tried it!

Change HAS to come from you, for you and because YOU want to do it, if you change just for you then the results are without question momentous, the cars are not faster, the houses not bigger, the holidays more glamorous, but the self esteem, pride and achievement is a reward not one other person gets to share with you as its all yours, every single bit of it, and yes YOU got to do it, you will get to look in the mirror and like what you see!

My experience of this, of doing something just for you is that people around you will notice the change and the very thing you have been craving your whole life, to be loved, complimented and respected comes naturally and you didn't have to do one damn thing to force it, you simply began to change self.

Do something just for you, start change, make it small to start, set goals, tweet it, facebook it, write about it and begin a journey that belongs to you and only you! Talk about it, share it and enjoy the journey on new roads, new paths with bigger views, amazing scenery and breath taking feelings! The only person who can change you is you, that's the truth, some come and join me on a journey of change.

The journey is not easy but the rewards for the hard work, commitment and dedication are the greatest rewards of all, fill yourself up with self esteem, pride and love and watch great change in your life happen. The best and most rewarding part of it all is you will get out of "Self" and start to have the energy, room and commitment to give back, help others and share the love you know have for yourself, it is a reward that words cannot really explain.

Stop in the traffic jam of life, hear the engine stop, take a deep breath and look not to save the planet but you, the most important thing on it!  

I'm now going to do the recycling, go for a walk and later hit the gym, its a triple whamy today!

Finally thank you to those followers on twitter who shared their stories with me yesterday, you inspire me to write, keep going and continue to change, grow and improve. You know who you are!

Roycey.

 

A Man I Met.

A little over a year a go I met a guy who was sat in a very lonely place of darkness and fear, it was a world of utter terror and the reality of it was he wanted to end his life!

I met him face to face as he pondered the very reality of saying goodbye to those who tried so hard to love him, it was, without question, tragic.

He wanted to no longer exist and to disappear quietly, to go from a world that tried to love him, to wave goodbye and to not breath another breath, he was sat in a body that knew no way out. he had reached a place of no hope, he hated himself, blamed himself and thought, in his head, the world hated him! He was lost in madness and was simply just existing.

I talk about this guy today because he took on life and faced many fears and today I looked at him and he smiled a smile of love, truth and happiness, I saw hope in his eyes and a calmness I never once ever dreamt I would see, I witnessed an inner peace and I watched his eyes sparkle once more.

By some kind of miracle he broke free, stepped out of a circle and made change, he saw a small rope and grabbed it, he met life's greatest challenge and chose to live not die.

The past twelve months have been a mountain of pain and heartache, struggle and soul searching and a strength he himself did not know he had, he asked for help, he listened (For the first time ever) and was guided by professionals, he got some bits wrong, he made mistakes, he beat himself up, he aimed high (Too high sometimes) but ultimately he found a place to sit with himself in harmony and in step with this thing we call life.

The problem in life is it is impossible to love anyone if you do not love yourself! He came from a past where everything was his fault and he truly did not like nor enjoy sitting in his skin, it was a dark, uncomfortable and desperate place to both watch and experience.

As I observe this man now I see a person who can sit quietly, not pace, shout, accuse or blame, a man who would rather give back than take, a man who understand loneliness and desperation, a man living life on life's terms, a man not a boy lost, confused and crying out to understand this great tapestry of existence, I see a man happy to tell the truth rather than lie or exaggerate to make his lonely world seem brighter or more exciting. I see a boy who put his hand up and told his truth to thus make a step towards adulthood, a step towards choice, happiness and freedom. This man removed many many masks to live how he was meant to live, he let go and trusted in a power greater than himself and he once again found humour that carried him through so much and for the first time in his life he was able to make choice.

I met this man again today and stared him straight in the eye and really loved what I saw.

I met him as I looked in the mirror.

I am truly happy, I am truly at peace and I can truly laugh a little at myself. Today I have hope in my heart and the best bit, I do not spend every hour worry about peoples opinion of me, I know my truth and that is the only thing that matters, really it is. I am free of my past.

I write this to thank YOU!  You couple of hundred who read my blogs have kept me going, writing has been a great therapy for me and something I really love to do.

I put my life "Out there" and I am glad I did, because it helped me find my way and gave me strength to go forward.

Most importantly though I write this to anyone who is staring in that same  mirror and seeing the person who resembles the first paragraph of this blog.

There is a way out, there is a life free of pain and suffering, there is a life of happiness and peace, there is a life filled with laughter and trust. There is a life of truth and compassion!

It just takes one very small step. If you have survived life this long you are stronger than you think, braver than you know and have spirit and courage beyond anything you can imagine. I know this because YOU are a survivor, YOU are special and YOU can shine bright.

Do not suffer in silence, pick up a phone, send a text, reach out, ask for help and come join me in the sunshine of life, it truly is a magical place, not one with fireworks and madness, massive highs and desperate lows, its a life where you can just sit, smile and know that everything is just going to be ok, it's a life centred and embraced and again, it just takes one tiny little step.

If you read this and you are not the person staring in the mirror, take just a tiny minute out of your busy life today and think of another. Send a text, an e-mail, a tweet, a Facebook message or god forbid a phone call to just say hello to someone, they may just have 20 masks on and be staring in a very dark mirror. If not, you may just make someones day.

Thank you for taking a minute out of your day for reading this and for the record, I am in a very happy place, so much so, I may do a little dancing later!

Shameful.

My daughter walked he 14 mile Marsden March the other day and I went down an supported her efforts on two points, the most emotional was at the finish line. I waited for about half an hour and clapped hundreds of people talking the last steps to support this amazing cancer charity.

The most emotional part was the messages written on the back of every ones T-shirts, the majority of people were walking for loved ones who had died, pictures and messages brought a lump to my throat and as I watched the many take the last steps in honour of their loved ones I watched tears well up in their eyes, it was heartbreaking, yet inspiring to watch.

As my family crossed the line and we talked I noticed so many different walks of life sharing in the same horrific story. I watched Police officers standing and clapping, nurses who do the most amazing job, hugging participants and even watched an 80 year old man with a walking stick with a picture of his wife cross the line, it was breathtaking and humbling to watch.

The parking in this area is not great, but people had been sensible and left room for free flowing traffic to pass up the many side streets by parking with their wheels up on the verge, nobody was effected by this and everyone got to watch their loved ones do something great and remember those who have been taken by the horrible illness of cancer.

Time to Q Sutton council parking wardens to act in a manner that appalled me.

This was a prime opportunity to give tickets out to as many cars as possible, I was gobsmacked at the insensitive, uncaring, money grabbing actions of two wardens. They were almost running between cars to slap on the £100 fine (£55 if you pay it quick) with a smiles on their faces.

I approached them and pointed out what was happening and why there was so many cars, they did not care, indeed so rude was one particular warden he didn't even look up at me as I talked or listen to my plee to show some leniency.

Community, trust and faith in those that run our communities and country start with the little acorn, in this case my local council. No wonder the country is pissed off, no wonder we have lost all faith in the political system, no wonder we do not trust the powers that are put in place to protect us. People had spent months raising money for a great cause, trained hard to walk the walk and carried pictures of lost family and friends on their backs, they cried as they crossed the finish line and hugged their nearest and dearest, then they returned to their vehicles (And their were lots) to find a ticket slapped on thier windows.

Sutton council and the parking wardens should hold their heads in shame.

I will pay my £55 happily, I was after all parked with two wheels on a grass verge (on a single yellow line) to avoid congestion (How bloody small minded of me!) and I broke the law! I would however rather throw this £55 at the charity than feed the greed, insensitivity and small mindedness of two men dressed in green armed with a pocket full of parking infringement tickets.

Really, the wardens should have put down their pens and joined the police oficers, nurses, families and friends and clapped the amazing people who marched 14 miles to give a little back, by doing this next time you gave out a ticket, the community might just remember what a selfless thing you did and not be so anti you, that's too easy though right?

How heartening and sensitive would it have been for the wardens to leave a message such as this on the many windscreens; 

"Dear Driver, We can see you have committed a parking infringement today but Sutton council parking wardens understand what an amazing effort you have given today and we wish to applaud you rather than penalise you. Congratulations on your inspiring effort. 

Much respect.  The traffic warden." 

To think outside the box is to grow, seriously the worker we all love to hate could have gained the respect back from the very public it serves. How?  By doing the same as the very people they were penalising - Giving back and just for one fleeting moment,  thinking of others! 

The actions of these two wardens is where our communities are simply doomed and it is all born out of greed!

Sutton council, you should be ashamed of yourself!